Sloth

  • Old Man

    Once, I was walking along our road and saw a man who appeared to be very old and well-lived sitting in a rocking chair. Surely, I thought, this man had all the answers. So I asked, “How did you live to such a healthy old age?” He said, “I do lots of drugs, eat lots…

  • Marching Band Pride

    Hey! Football team! Get off the band field!

  • Popular Prices

    A new jewelry store was opening for the first time. On the front of the store, there was a sign that said “Popular Prices”. A man looked at the sign and walked right in. He asked the employee at the desk, “How much for that pearl necklace?” “14,000 dollars.” “What? How are those popular prices?”…

  • What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?

    A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.” “Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.” “No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out,…

  • Upsc

    Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all, as it has…

  • Top 10 Things Not To Say On Your Anniversary

    10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I…

  • Mr Annoying (a Mik and Mak Joke)

    (I put the pun words in CAPS) A man was smoking in a no smoking restaurant. Mik went up to him and said “sir, you’ll have to leave’. The smoker said to mik “what if I dont wanna, yeah?, what’ll ya do then?” Mak walked up to the smoking man’s face and said ‘leave. this…

  • Yo Momma So Dumb…

    Yo momma so dumb, She invented water proof tea bags.

  • Looking For Crisco

    An old guy was wandering around a supermarket calling out – “Crisco? Crisco? C-R-I-S-C-O!” Finally, a clerk approached him and said, “Sir, the Crisco in on aisle seven.” “Oh,” the old guy said, “I’m not looking for Crisco. I’m calling my wife.” “Your wife’s name is Crisco?” the puzzled clerk asked. “Hell, no,” the old…

  • Wife & Job

    Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job ? A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

  • You are a Redneck If… #22

    You are a redneck if: you’ve ever held a lifelong grudge over a spelling bee.

  • Funny Questions

    If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced…