Sloth

  • Warning- very corny!

    What do you call a bear who’s into gardening? A Hairy Potter!

  • Miles Better

    This last weekend I was reminded at the pace we are converting to metric. I was on I-75 in Ohio when I saw a sign that said: All signs metric – Next 20 miles.

  • See Me Go!

    One employee asked another, “How long have you been working here?” The second said, “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!”

  • You’re a Redneck…

    You know you’re a redneck if: 1) You drive your house and sleep in your car. 2) You think a loaded dishwasher means your wife is drunk. 3) You have more than 2 relatives named Buh Buh. 4) You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids.…

  • HIGHER POWER

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anyjoke tell me what it is?” One child blurted out, “Aces!”

  • Holics

    Since workaholics are people addicted to work and chocaholics are people addicted to chocolate, are catholics people addicted to cats?

  • 100 Years Ago Vs. Today

    In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English. In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home. In 1900, a father waited for…

  • How Do You Plant Dope??

    How do you plant dope? Bury a blond.

  • Goldfish

    3 blondes caught a goldfish, and the fish said if they let her go she will grant them one wish each. The first blonde said: “I want to be smart.” The second said: “I want to be smarter than her,” and the third said: “I want to be the smartest.” In the morning they woke…

  • Abbey

    Knock Knock! Who’s there? Abbey! Abbey who? Abbey stung me on the nose!

  • College Money

    A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mom said, ‘Sure, sweetie. I’ll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?’ ‘Uh, oh yeah,…

  • Kind of Makes You Think 23

    And my FAVORITE…… The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.