5W1H boo!

Sloth

  • Can You Tell Time?

    in

    If you can tell time… Why can’t you tell that I don’t have time for you?

  • Milk Carton

    in

    Yo Mama is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

  • The Local Water

    in

    A Welshman, walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hands. He shouts, “Paid a yfed y dwr mae’r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr!” (Don’t drink the water, there’s cow shit in it!) The man shouts back, “I’m English, I don’t understand you!” The Welshman calls back, “Use…

  • The Absence

    in

    Mom: Why did you get a grade so low? Junior: Because of absence. Mom: Who, You? Junior: No, the kid who sits right next to me.

  • What’s the Big Dif.?

    in

    What’s the difference between a religious woman and a supposedly regular woman in a bathtub? One has HOPE in her soul.

  • T-Shirt Messages IV

    in

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it limits. Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. Go ahead and take risks. Just be sure that everything will…

  • Price Chopper

    in

    How many Price Chopper employees does it take to wash a table? Three; one to wash it and two to supervise.

  • Bloodshot

    in

    A policeman pulls over a reckless driver along the road. Going up to the driver’s window, he takes one look and notes, “Your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The driver looks up out of those bloodshot eyes and responds, “Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?”

  • THINK YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY?

    in

    THINK YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY…. check it out these actual cases. Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.…

  • Sergeant Rosenbloom

    in

    During World War II, a sergeant gets a telephone call from a woman. “We would love it,” she said, “if you could bring five of your soldiers over to our house for Thanksgiving dinner.” “Certainly, ma’am,” replied the sergeant. “Oh… just make sure they aren’t Jews, of course,” said the woman. “Will do,” replied the…

  • The Magic Mirror

    in

    A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four”. Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell…

  • Sound Advice

    in

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing – and stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if…