Sloth
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All Under Control
in JokesAnother Month Ends: All Targets Met, All Systems Working, All Customers Satisfied, All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic, All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly.
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Mass Use of Brains
in JokesCNN gets news that 100 blonds are killed in a train accident at Marylebone station. Only one blond left alive. The correspondent goes to her and asks, “Miss, how did it happen?” Blond: “Oh don’t ask about it. All were right as long as all were waiting on the platform for the train. Then came…
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What is a Kentucky Virgin?
in JokesQuestion: What is a Kentucky Virgin? Answer: A really ugly seven year old girl who can run faster than her older brother.
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12 Redneck Days of Cristmas
in JokesOn the 12th day of Christmas my true love sent to me 12- Pack of Bud 11 Rasslin’ Tickets 10 tins of Copenhagen 9 Years Probation 8 Holey vests 7 Kissing Cousins 6 Cans of Spam 5 Hunting Hounds 4 Mudgrip tyres 3 Shot Gun Shells 2 more Gaps in Teeth And some parts to…
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What to Name your Dog?
in JokesA girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend asked, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HellOOOooo,” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs.”
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Weird Facts
in JokesA “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
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Old Age Secret
in JokesGrandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everyjoke complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.” The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep…
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Wizard Of Oz (the Truth From Dorothy)
in JokesAuntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
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Washing Hands
in JokesSaddam and an American were in the bathroom peeing in the urinals. When the American was done, he was going to leave without washing his hands. Saddam said, “You know, I learned to wash my hands.” The American replied, “Well, I learned not to pee on my hands.”
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Corny …but Cute!
in JokesWhat do you call a dinosaur that is able to give you a synonym for any word you give him? Answer: A Thesaurus! 🙂