I have a friend named Ben who says the dardest things. Me an a different friend have compiled a list of the best ones
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Max: Have you noticed that people with lisps can’t say lisp?
Ben: Really?.. Lisp,
Max: Ben you don’t have a lisp -.-
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They make up some excuse about an over-time relationship thing.
You mean long distance?
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shut up you criticism
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You know max, you get what you dish out and if you don’t like it get
out of the kitchen.
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I think it’s a spiff or something!
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Okay but you can’t wake up on purpose.
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(max) no tresping…wow I can’t telk….
Damnit.
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ben (playing video games): wow I’m sucking so much balls right now.
Max: we know ben. We all know what you do in your free time
Jyo: it’s not exactly free
Ben (distracted): yeah…that’s why I don’t have any money… Wait..
Max: so you pay them to suck their balls?
Ben: faggots…
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(Jyo): kellen quit being a whore
(kellen): I’m not a whore… I’m a bitch.
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Like two peas in a pot.
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(ben humps air)
Max (to ben): ew.
Luke (watching a victorias secret commercial): no…thats awesome!
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Ben: what are we watching?
Max: dragon wars
Ben: what’s it about?
Max: …take a wild guess ben
Ben: hey you never know!
…faggots…
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You lose you snooze….crap.
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Jyo: (playing video games): reload! You only have two shots left!
(ben dies)
Jyo: shoulda reloaded.
ben: SHOULDA SHUDDUP!
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Jewnormous
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It’s $10 an hour. We’re just pulling whistles.
(laughing in background)
Shaddap mom!
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(fire near ben’s house.)
“Look the leaves are turning yellow”
“yeah I’d be turning yellow”
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“wait, where’s the boulder bolder?”
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“well that’s cause the fire fires put it out”
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Orgasasm
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big fucking well!
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hey we were CII buddies!
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max you look like a muffet.
Max-what’s that?
It’s a mix between a marmot and a squirrel
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Jyo: what are you planning
Ben: I’m not waging anything
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oh yeah that’s a good tacnic (tactic)
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stay away from my crocs. (crotch)
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it was pouring wind!
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I’m just a little blind
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Ben-Careful you’ll poke your eye out
Jyo-With a poker chip?
Ben-Exactly
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boofuckinghoo
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He’s like a pirate he lives in ward (crazy freaking mountain town in colorado)
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Ben-Hey max, look a fish.
Max looks
Ben Steals from Jyo.
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Yeah it was laced with OCD.