children

Two young cowboys – aged six and four – walked into the pretend bar for a drink. The older cowboy thumped his fist on the pretend bar and said to the pretend bartender, “bartender, gimme a rye whiskey!” The younger cowboy was not to be outdone. “Yeah, and make mine a whole wheat!”

The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world. Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God’s help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments, but I don’t think I want…

Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah – “You made an ark on dry land, you fool”. But he was smart, he stuck with You. That’s what I would do. – Eddie Dear God, I do not think anyjoke could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am…

Little Leroy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” At that moment, his mother came in and heard that he was cursing. “Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying…

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both…

Johnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference. MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal. JOHNNY: Really? I didn’t know it was opposite day!

Little 6 year old Nancy and her big sister, Sandy were at the mall, looking at a sweatshirt. “That shirt is 60 dollars,” said Sandy. “I wish I could afford it.” Then the shopkeeper comes up, and says, “Can I help you girls with something?” “Well, this sweater is 60 dollars and we only have…

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?” “No, I don’t,” said the little boy. “OK, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing…

Billy: i know a person who is 35 and still in 4th grade! Eddie: Really! who? Billy: My teacher!

Four-year-old Robert tells his kindergarten teacher that he has a new baby brother, called Spot. “Spot?” says the teacher. “Are you sure it’s not a puppy your Dad bought you?” Robert was adamant that his brother’s name was Spot – until next morning, when he issued a correction. “Actually, it’s Mark.”

The following are all quotes from an 11 year old student’s science exams: Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire. H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes…