Jokes
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1/3 Multiplied By 3
in JokesAn analyst, a pure mathematician, and a statistician apply for a job. The interviewer asks each of them the question “What is 1/3 multiplied by 3?” The analyst enters it into his calculator and replies that the answer is 0.9999999. The pure mathematician replies that the answer is obviously 1. Then, the statistician asks the…
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A Group of 3rd, 4th and 5th Graders…
in JokesA group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would…
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Rules to Being a Guy
in JokesIn order to be a guy, a guy must follow the following rules at all times without question: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry…
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Don’t Buy A Labrador!
in JokesPaddy tells Mick he’s thinking of buying a Labrador dog. “Oh, I wouldn’t if I were you!”, says Mick. “Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”
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Internship
in JokesWhat was the blonde college student doing at the harbor? Looking for an internship.
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Crashing Plane
in JokesThe Pope, a hippie, and George Bush were all on a plane that was crashing. The pilots had already jumped to safety and there were only two parachutes left. Without a moment’s hesitation, Bush grabbed a pack, yelled “I’m the most powerful man in the universe! I have to survive!”, and jumped from the plane.…
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HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,…
in JokesHEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE, the cat did a piddle, all over the bedside clock, The little dog laughed to see such fun then died of electric shock.
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Mustang Convertible
in JokesA man was stopped at a red light when a fantastic looking blonde pulled up beside him in a really hot Mustang convertible. Trying to start a conversation, the man asked, “Hey,….. how many horses you got under the hood?” The blonde looked at the man bewildered, and replied, “Well,…. there’s one on the left…
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Strange Word Fun
in JokesEnergizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery. A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating – always use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. If electricity…
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At the Movies
in JokesJohn took Mary to the movies, and they both enjoyed the show very much. Afterwards, John asked Mary what she wanted to do; “I want to get weighed,” she said. He took her to a drugstore, where the machine said she weighed 107 pounds, but for the rest of the night she pouted and sulked.…