5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • From a TRUE Friend

    in

    Aren’t you tired of those stupid, mushy greeting cards down at the card store? Here’s what a real friend would send to another… Dear friend, When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad… When you are blue, I will try to…

  • Mt. Rushmore

    in

    Did you know that the goverment finds Native American chiefs more important than presidents? The new head on Mt. Rushmore is at least twice the size of the others. It’s the head of an Indian!

  • Speed Limit

    in

    Q.What is the speed limit for sex? A. 68, at 69 you have to turn around!

  • Honecker II

    in

    Early in the morning, Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window. He sees the sun and says: “Good morning, dear Sun!” The sun replies: “Good morning, dear Erich!” Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: “Good day, dear Sun!” The sun replies: “Good day, dear Erich!” In…

  • July

    in

    Knock Knock Who’s there? July July who? July like Bill Clinton

  • Children’s Father

    in

    A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when an attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!” Her face was beaming. He gave her that “Who-are-you?” look and couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.…

  • Ice Hockey

    in

    What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

  • Some More oneliners II

    in

    She used to have a broad mind and a narrow waist; now it’s the other way round. It was a very emotional wedding; even the cake was in tiers. Psychic wanted – you know why, and where to apply. I don’t think they really wanted me in the marching band – they gave me a…

  • Invisible

    in

    What’s invisible and very frightened? A ghost with the sheet scared out of him.

  • Drunk Juggler

    in

    A juggler who was driving to his next performance was stopped by the police. “What are those knives doing in your car?” asked the officer. “I juggle them in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the cop. “Let’s see you do it.” So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees…

  • 6.9

    in

    A boy asks his dad,”Dad, what is 6.9?” The dad answers, “69 interrupted by a period!”

  • IT’S OBVIOUS

    in

    I almost got fired for telling this joke at work: Do you know why fireman have bigger balls than policeman? They sell more tickets!