Jokes

  • The Blonde and the Blonde Jokes

    A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, “I hate all the blonde jokes people say.” “Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I’ll prove it to you,” replies her brunette friend. So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to…

  • Getting Into Heaven

    “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class. “NO!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat…

  • CrAzY THoUgHtS!!

    Do they put underwear on corpses? Why do people say “The alarm just went off” when really it just came on? If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at sunrise? Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies? If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight? If…

  • Top twenty ways to say “your fly is open.”

    20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You’ve got Windows in your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. 14. Quasimodo needs…

  • Blond in Space

    A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?” After pondering the question she answered,…

  • Savanna Football

    The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. “I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T.V.” He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the…

  • A Joke In A Joke?

    So my friend and I were talking (for real this time) at lunch and he told a joke. Him: So this kid found beer under his brother’s bed and before he went to school he drank like 5 bottles and was drunk. Then his teacher asked him what 7+7 was and he was like 302…

  • Amazing Facts 19

    230 The number of keys in an ordinary piano is eighty eight 231 ‘Man is a Tool Making animal’ was said by Benjamin Franklin 232 The term ‘anesthesia’ was coined by Oliver Wendell Holmes 233 The first man to reach Antartica was Fabian Gottlieb 234 The Kilimanjaro volcano is situated in Tanzania 235 The invention…

  • French Soldiers Buried

    Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried? A: There aren’t any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.

  • Food Network

    Did you ever watch the Food Network? Ya, they cook stuff that you won’t even think about cooking, and afterwards you don’t even bother to even remember it. People just sit at home and drool… It’s like porno for fat people.

  • L.A. Math Test

    File description: This high school math exam gives you insight into life in a crime-filled society. City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam Name:____________________ Gang:________________________ 1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how…

  • Spiders

    Q: Where do spiders go to learn new words? A: WEB-sters dictionary!!