5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The Funeral

    in

    A man arrives at his laywer’s funeral and and was very dismayed by the presence of this one person. He turns to the people around him. ‘Why are you all at this man’s funeral?’ A man turns towards him and says, ‘We’re all clients.’ ‘And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching.’ ‘Huh?…

  • Annoy

    in

    Ways To Annoy People On The Subway Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by. Constantly ask people for directions. Don’t take a shower for a month. Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.

  • VATICAN CITY (AP)

    in

    In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company…

  • Air Control

    in

    On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?” The tower responded, “Who is calling?” The aircraft replied,…

  • knock

    in

    Knock-Knock Who’s there? Who’s There. Who’s there Who? I’m supposed to say Who’s there!

  • Wicker Box

    in

    What is the definition of wicker box? It’s what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

  • Abortion

    in

    “It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled ‘abort! abort!’”

  • The most powerful word in the English Language

    in

    Shit may be the most powerful word in the english language: You can be shitfaced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy…

  • Heaven or Hell

    in

    A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in…

  • Hotel Clerk

    in

    After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir,”…

  • Difficult English

    in

    The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. Since there is…

  • Line Painters

    in

    There’s a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken. The first day the blonde paints 5.4 miles of road, the brunette paints 6 miles of road. The second day the blonde paints 4.1…