5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • TWA Coffee?

    in

    “Waiter, I’d a cup of coffee, please, no cream.” “I’m sorry, sir, we’re out of cream. Would you have it with no milk?” “Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!” “Well, it was ground this morning!” “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?” asked the waiter. “I’ll have tea,” replied the first customer. “Me too – and be sure…

  • Drunk

    in

    There’s this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, “What do you think you’re doing?” The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbor.”

  • TAXI

    in

    You’re so fat, when you went outside wearing a yellow dress everyjoke called “TAXI”

  • Turn Off The Mic

    in

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone,…

  • Border Patrol

    in

    An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into…

  • Aerobic Instructors

    in

    Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going “To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up,…

  • 101 Ways to Annoy People

    in

    1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.” 3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.” 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…” 5. If you have a glass eye, tap…

  • Thinking Too Much…

    in

    Keep this in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor! In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of our…

  • Be Comfortable

    in

    Why don’t you slip into something comfortable. Like a coma.

  • My Daughter

    in

    I have an 18-year-old; her name is Alexis. I chose that name because if I hadn’t had her, I’d be driving one.

  • Switzerland

    in

    A lawyer is talking to a *fellow* politician. ‘I’m going to Switzerland next month,’ said the honest politician. ‘Oh really?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Which bank?’

  • Poof

    in

    A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF–the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy…