Jokes

  • MLk/ Nightmare

    Does anyone know why I have nightmares? Because the last man that had a “dream” got shot.

  • Insult Call

    Freddy:May I please use the telephone for a while? Lady Flora:Yes, you may. Then Freddy saw a poster of Jollibee. There it says that the only telephone number you may dial in Rhode Island if you want to talk to them is: 626-999-626. Freddy called that number. Freddy:626-999-626. Jollibe Customer Service:Hello, Jollibee customer service here.…

  • Very Fast!

    There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” After…

  • My Wife…

    2 guys are sitting at a bar after a hard days work and start talking about their wives. 1st guy: “You know what, my wife is an angel.” 2nd guy: “Gee, you sure are lucky, my wife is still alive!”

  • Night Shift

    During work Mike and John are chatting, Mike: “I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week.” John: “Oh!” Mike: “For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?” John: “No.” Mike: “He is the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you take night courses you would…

  • An Embarrassing Story

    There was a teenaged girl name Amanda, who just stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her joke, and went into her room. She was very excited because her long time crush, Jason, was coming over to have dinner. She turned the radio on and her favorite song was playing, so she…

  • Taylor Swift

    Teenager: Dad, did you hear that Jake broke up with Taylor? Dad: Oh no, another album.

  • Hard Words to Say When Drunk

    THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Tran-substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me.…

  • Bon Appetit

    When I walk the dogs, I take a handful of black plastic bags, since the local council requires us to ‘clear up after our dogs’ or face a stiff fine. This being the wild blackberry season, I use a spare (clean!) one to hold the blackberries I pick on the way. Coming off the hill,…

  • Math

    The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”

  • Keep Arguing

    How many Wocka users does it take to change a lightbulb? A: All of ’em. One to hold the lightbulb and the rest to argue if this is funny or not.

  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue…

    Roses are red, violets are blue, If I can use technology, why can’t you? The sky is blue, the grass is green, why is your brain as small as a lima bean? Your humorous, funny, have OCD, How come you can’t use technology without me? I love you, I love you, I really do, but…