Jokes

  • Funerals

    Always go to other peoples funerals, or they wont come to yours.

  • FORE

    A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly missing another golfer. When the first golfer gets to his ball he is greeted by his unintended victim who angrily tells him of the near miss. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to yell fore,”…

  • We and You is Friends

    We and You is friends. You smile, We smile….. You hurt, We hurt…. You cry, We cry… You jump off a bridge… We gonna miss you!

  • What On Earth?

    In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, God was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part. Then God said, “Let there be…

  • Little Red Riding Hood

    Q. What little girl takes from the rich and gives to the poor? A. Little Red Robbin’ Hood!

  • What I Leraned In MY Lifetime So Far #1

    Here are some things learned in MY lifetime: 1) If you want something very bad and your parents won’t let you, give them a lower lip, blink your eyes really fast, and say please 3,000 times until they crack. 2) NEVER ask your dad about Shakespeare or Math homework, unless you want a 5 hour…

  • Test-tube Baby

    A test-tube baby has a womb with a view.

  • Mercedes in Moscow

    The Armenian Radio was asked: “Is it true that in Moscow, Mercedes cars are being given to citizens?” The Armenian Radio answers: “Yes, but it is not Moscow but Leningrad, not Mercedes but Ladas, and not given to but stolen from.”

  • BLAH!

    BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!BLAH!

  • The Buddhist Computer Addict

    Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with? A: He enters Nerdvana.

  • I KNOW I’m Right!

    When a man wants to believe something, it doesn’t take much to convince him.

  • Now That’s Dumb

    Yo momma so dumb that when we told her it was a serial killer on the loose she went and locked all the boxes of cereal up in the cabinet.