Jokes

  • Two Tall Trees…

    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says it cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The…

  • Who Earns More??

    Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he…

  • Via Bluetooth

    A Japanese and an American are sitting next to each other in an airplane. The Japanese turns to the American and says “We are so technically advanced that we have exact replicas of ourselves so we can be at two places at the same time”. He continues, “Therefore, I can be at work and at…

  • Birdseed

    A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. “I’d like a box of birdseed,” said the lady. “For which kind of bird?” he asked helpfully. “Oh, I dunno,” she replied. “Whichever will grow the fastest.”

  • Danish Chicks Flash Their Hairy Armpits

    These danish chicks flash their hairy armpits, while they catch guys’ reaction on candid camera. Scroll in a few minutes – it is hilarious http://www.dr.dk/pirattv/programmer/soestrene-bidsk/soestrene-bidsk-tester-angst-for-haar/

  • Japan is in Trouble

    Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a matter of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically debilitating – and permanent.…

  • A Golfer Goes to the Emergency Room

    A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it…

  • Ole is So Cheap…

    Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, “Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!”

  • Catch a Train

    The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time. A fellow passenger looked at him and said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a…

  • Piglet and the Toilet

    Q: Why did piglet look in the toilet? A: He was looking for Pooh (poo)

  • First Thing You are Taught

    Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army? A: To say “I surrender” in German

  • Stupid Law

    In Arkansas, it is illegal to say the word Arkansas incorrectly.