Jokes
-
Know-It-All
in Jokes“Danny,” asked Mrs Waters, “What’s usually used as a conductor of electricity?” “Why- er…” “Correct, wire. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?” “The what??” That’s absolutely right. The watt.”
-
A Brunette
in JokesA brunette said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.”
-
Arms So Short
in JokesYo momma’s arms are so short that she has to tilt her head to scratch her ears.
-
Multiply
in JokesThe Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, “Go forth and multiply.” A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little…
-
A Greater Insult
in JokesA biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are assholes!” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back.” The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer?” “No, I’m an asshole.”
-
Magic Wine Glass
in JokesA blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. “You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress,” said the genie. The blonde replied, “I wish I had an endless glass of wine.”…
-
Why Oh Why
in JokesWhy, Oh Why, Oh Why . . . Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but…
-
Ticks and Crosses
in Jokes“Have you ever had a tick before?” asked Mel. “No, I’ve only ever had crosses,” replied Sally.
-
The Turbo Beepbeep
in JokesA man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on…