5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • An Embarrassing Story

    in

    There was a teenaged girl name Amanda, who just stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her joke, and went into her room. She was very excited because her long time crush, Jason, was coming over to have dinner. She turned the radio on and her favorite song was playing, so she…

  • Taylor Swift

    in

    Teenager: Dad, did you hear that Jake broke up with Taylor? Dad: Oh no, another album.

  • Hard Words to Say When Drunk

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    THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Tran-substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. Nope, no more booze for me.…

  • Bon Appetit

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    When I walk the dogs, I take a handful of black plastic bags, since the local council requires us to ‘clear up after our dogs’ or face a stiff fine. This being the wild blackberry season, I use a spare (clean!) one to hold the blackberries I pick on the way. Coming off the hill,…

  • Math

    in

    The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”

  • Keep Arguing

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    How many Wocka users does it take to change a lightbulb? A: All of ’em. One to hold the lightbulb and the rest to argue if this is funny or not.

  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue…

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    Roses are red, violets are blue, If I can use technology, why can’t you? The sky is blue, the grass is green, why is your brain as small as a lima bean? Your humorous, funny, have OCD, How come you can’t use technology without me? I love you, I love you, I really do, but…

  • Rude Parrot

    in

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft…

  • The Blonde and the Blonde Jokes

    in

    A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, “I hate all the blonde jokes people say.” “Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I’ll prove it to you,” replies her brunette friend. So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to…

  • Getting Into Heaven

    in

    “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class. “NO!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat…

  • CrAzY THoUgHtS!!

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    Do they put underwear on corpses? Why do people say “The alarm just went off” when really it just came on? If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at sunrise? Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies? If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight? If…

  • Top twenty ways to say “your fly is open.”

    in

    20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You’ve got Windows in your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. 14. Quasimodo needs…