5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Emergency Course

    in

    A blonde, brunette, and redhead all go into a building to take an emergency course. After a few minutes of introductions, the instructor of the course starts to talk about fire. “Wherever you see a fire, you need to call 911, imediately.” After an hour or so of the lecture, the brunette makes an excuse…

  • Clintons Testimony By Dr Seuss

    in

    I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did…

  • Shoes

    in

    Yo Momma’s feet smell so bad that her shoes committed suicide.

  • While in Line at the Bank…

    in

    While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her, after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now”, she would be punished. To…

  • Strongest Days?

    in

    Q. What are the strongest days of the week? A. Saturday and Sunday, because all the rest are week days.

  • Bad Grade

    in

    A student said to Professor Stigler: “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.” To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”

  • Doctor Doctor Toast

    in

    Doctor, Doctor! I have a virus that makes my left hand constantly butter toast. How can I stop it spreading?

  • You Couldn’t Make It Up

    in

    The following is from the British paper, the Sunday Express, giving awards for dubious distinctions. Tortoise Trophy – To British Rail, which solved the problem of lateness in the Intercity express train service by redefining “on time” to include trains arriving within one hour of schedule. Rubber Cushion – To John Bloor, who mistook a…

  • The Strange Deer

    in

    One time I was walking and I saw a deer then a turkey comes out and the turkey and deer interact by speaking in human words then all of a sudden a really bright light formed and the deer and turkey have fused to make a durkey a dear and turkey combined it has a…

  • Gravy

    in

    Your momma so fat when she broke a leg gravy came out.

  • As it turns out…

    in

    Believe it or not, Windows95 is not a virus, as many (millions) have claimed. You want proof? Look no further! What’s the difference between Windows95 and a virus? Quality Replicates Quickly Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Uses up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Occasional hard disk…

  • The Chimes

    in

    “I started a new band called The Chimes” “What kind of band?” “Acapella Ska” “What do you play?” “Drums”