5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • A Rare Book

    in

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somejoke-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Yes, that was it!” “You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first…

  • Actual Police Quotes

    in

    The following are quotes made by real police officers: “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them a while.” “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the…

  • Definitions of the Spanish Royal Academy of the Language

    in

    LOVE: A word involving four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. It refers to a disease that can be cured by marriage. ARCHITECT: A guy not “macho” enough to be an engineer and not queer enough to be an interior designer. TO DANCE: It refers to the vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.…

  • Television Sale

    in

    One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, “I want to buy that TV.” The man says “No.” The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown.…

  • Very Reform Rabbi

    in

    We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi.

  • Performance Definitions

    in

    Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations he/she keeps cranking out. Well, here it is: AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one…

  • Man and car

    in

    Men who walk in front of car get tired. Men who walk in back of car get exhausted.

  • William Tell

    in

    It’s a little known fact that William Tell and his son were avid bowlers as well as archery buffs. Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire, so it may never be known for whom the Tells bowled.

  • Kinda Like the Perfect Husband, Exept a Twist to It

    in

    A bunch of men are in a locker room at the gym, just out from the steam room. One man’s phone rings, he answers it. The conversation between him and his girlfriend is as follows: “Hey honey!” “hey…” “I love ya!” “When are you gonna be home to feed us?” “Fuck ya’all! I hate you!…

  • First Time Intimacy

    in

    A young man from Peking and a first generation Chinese American woman get married. On the wedding night he climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring, saying, “My darling, I know this is your first time and you must be frightened.” She says that is true but she will do anything…

  • Fat and Hairy

    in

    Yo momma is so fat and hairy, that if she dyed her hair green, people would use her for golf practice.

  • Cans

    in

    There was a man who went to buy some guns. The salesman at the store asked what he wanted to shoot. He said, “Cans” So the salesman asked, “What kind of cans?” “Ameri-cans, Afri-cans,,,,”