Jokes

  • Tense Moments

    A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking…

  • Faith

    A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the…

  • Mr. Bush

    Why did President George W. Bush go into a gorilla’s nest in the jungle? To be with his family!

  • Yo Momma’s So Ugly

    Yo momma’s so ugly the bank had to turn its security cameras off when she came in.

  • Don’t Give Me Food… Give Me Water

    Give me food and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What or who am I? (Scroll down) A fire

  • Dear White Fella…

    Couple of things you oughta know Firstly, when I’m born, I’m black!! When I grow up, I’m black When I get sick, I’m black When I go out in the sun, I’m black When I’m cold, I’m black And when I get scared, Gee, I’m black And When I die, I’m still black But you…

  • South African Football

    Virgin Mobile wanted to sponsor the national team. SAFA (South African Footballing Association) refused to let it happen. They said, “How will it look if the team has Virgin written on their shirts when they get f****d up every other weekend?”

  • Baseball Game

    A woman was watching her son pitch in a little league baseball. He wasn’t very good, walking all of the batters that came up to bat, but after every pitch, the mom was yelling wildy and cheering her wonderful son on. Because of all the batters he had walked, the score was 14-0 in the…

  • In and Out

    Mama Skunk had two children named In and Out. The two were always on the go, but rarely in one place at the same time. Whenever In was in, Out was out. Whenever In was out, Out was in. One day at dinner time, Out was home, but In was no where to be seen.…

  • The Vicar

    In a small town, an frightened man ran inside the local pub and shouted, “Does anyone here own a big black dog with a white collar?” But no one answered and he said, “Oh my God,I must have run over the Vicar!”

  • Redneck Kids

    If you think I’m a redneck tell that to my kids: Bobby Sue, Buck, Jim Bob, Bubba, Enus, Jed, Dwayne, Billy Bob, Clitus, Dale, Otis, Coy, Bo, Hattie, Cooter, Wade, Larlene, Clint, Delmont and Luther.

  • Scaredy-Cat

    Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid said, “My dad is so scared that, when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed.” “Oh, yeah? That’s nothing,” said the second kid. “My dad is so scared that, when my mom has to work the night shift, he goes next…