5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The Invitation

    in

    “Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because…

  • SO STUPID!

    in

    You’re so stupid, that you called my house and asked for my number!

  • Egg

    in

    If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the…

  • Lights Out

    in

    Ah…all the good things we get out of electricity: the T.V., computer, coffee machine, lights, and much more. What happens when the electricity goes out? You stop complaining that you can’t watch T.V. or send an E-mail, and go buy battery-powered things!

  • Help

    in

    Yo momma so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help!

  • Day or Night?

    in

    A man awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. “Why are the curtains closed?” he said. “Is it night?” A nurse replied, “No, it’s just that there is a fire across the street, and we didn’t want you waking up and thinking that the…

  • Cute Fart

    in

    A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?” he asked. “No, Father. Just a little gas,” Sister Susan explained. A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. “Gaining some…

  • Le Chien

    in

    Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this,” and goes downstairs. Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, “The dog is still…

  • Buttercups

    in

    A man was enjoying a pleasant afternoon of golf. On the 15th hole, he drove his ball to the right of the fairway into a patch of buttercups. As he neared the ball, he heard a small voice say, “Please sir, don’t hurt my buttercups!.” He looked around, but there was no one nearby. So…

  • Loathe

    in

    I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.

  • More Stupid Laws. . .

    in

    1) In Illinois, it is illegal to speak English. Well then, what do they speak? Gibberish? 2) In Crete, Illinois, it is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with someone else’s dog. First of all, why would anyjoke attempt to even have sex with a dog? Second of all, is it okay to…

  • Deadly Gas

    in

    A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his joke but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage(and a couple of other…