5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Why Did You Not Read It?

    in

    The Democratic National Committee finally released thousands of pages of financial disclosure information. Says Vince Vieceli, “Unfortunately, they released them from a third-floor balcony in New York during the parade for the Yankees.”

  • Stupidity

    in

    It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

  • There’s A Parrot On The Plane

    in

    On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky, you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is…

  • The Declarizzle of Independence of Tha Thirteen Colonies

    in

    The Declarizzle of Independence of tha Thirteen Colonies In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776 The unanimous Declarizzles of tha thirteen united States of America, W-H-to-tha-izzen in tha Course of human events, it becomes necessary fo` one thugz ta Dissolve tha politizzles bands which hizzle connected thizzem wit motherfucka n ta Assume among tha powa of tha…

  • 3 Men in the Desert

    in

    One day, 3 men were walking around in the desert. One was poor, but had lots to drink and was smart; one was rich and very thirsty but was smart, and the last was poor, thirsty and stupid. Suddenly a genie popped up and said, “Each of you can have one wish, but it is…

  • What We Learn from Movies 2

    in

    1. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 2. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 3. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 4. All…

  • If The Earth Were a Small Village

    in

    If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this: There would be: * 57 Asians * 21 Europeans * 14 from the Western Hemisphere, * 8 Africans, * 52 would be female * 48 would be male * 70 would…

  • A Couple Of Teenagers

    in

    A couple of teenagers craving something sweet drove to the nearest Baskin-Robbins. They bought ice cream cones and returned to their car to be comfortable. As they settled back to enjoy themselves, two ravens landed on the front hood and began to caw and flutter, and to peck at the windshield. The young man finally…

  • Guy With No Arms or Legs

    in

    What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door? Matt What do you call a guy with no arms or legs swimming? Bob What do you call a guy with no arms or legs water skiing? Skip

  • Joker

    in

    Could you fax me your photo very very urgently? Mind you it’s really very very urgent, damn serious and very important ….. I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.

  • Testing Your Vocabulary

    in

    Warning – Please DO NOT look at the bottom of the page before you answer ALL the questions 1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3) What can you…

  • Restaurant Quotes

    in

    “Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?” – Asked of a waitress. “Just the chicken.” The response a waitress gave when asked if there were any dairy products in a soup. “Would you like cream and sugar with that?” – Asked by a waitress when a customer specified orange juice instead of coffee as part…