Jokes
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Car Crash
in JokesWhen a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. “Step aside lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first-aid!” The woman watched for a few…
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Scavenger Hunt
in JokesA woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. “Lady,” Johnny explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a…
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Calculators
in JokesKurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play “The Calculator Game”. I’m sure many people reading this remember it – it’s the one where you enter “1 + 1 =” into your calculator and continue pressing the “=” sign. The goal is to see who…
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Sobbing Jerry
in JokesSix-year-old Jerry came downstairs bellowing lustily. “What’s the matter?” asked his mother. “Papa was hanging pictures, and he just hit his thumb with a hammer,” said Jerry. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “A big man like you shouldn’t cry at a trifle like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?” “I did,” sobbed Jerry.
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A Lawyer and an IRS Agent are Drowning
in JokesIf a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
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Excess Weight
in Jokes“Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you’re carrying around?” the doctor asked. “I don’t understand it, Doc,” Jonathan replied, “I just can’t seem to lose weight. I must have an overactive thyroid.” “Jonathan, the tests show that your thyroid is perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. “It’s your fork that’s…
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Modern Day Letter From a Girl to Her Crush
in JokesDear _______________, I really like you. I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. Please check one of the boxes below: ___ Yes ___ No ___ No, I already have a girlfriend, sorry ___ Yes, if you don’t tell my girlfriend ___ No, I am already fathering a child ___ No,…
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Snow in June
in JokesA lady walked into a bar and there were no seats available, except for one at a table that was occupied by a man, and she decides to take it. He said, “Hello, my name is Jim Snow, what’s yours?” The women replied, “June.” She went to get a drink and Jim Snow sat there…
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What’s Your Sign?
in JokesSign in a realtor’s office: “Lots for little.” Sign at entrance of the IRS: “Watch your step.” Sign in a bookstore: “We treat you write.” Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.” Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: “Reserved for plant manager.” Sign on…
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How Long……?
in JokesQuestion: How long is a minute? Answer: That depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on!!