Jokes
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Lord of the Things: Fellowship of the Thing
in JokesImagine that you are on an adventure in a jungle with your best friend. Your friend gets bitten (on his manhood) by a poisonous snake while he was peeing. There isn’t a hospital for hundreds of miles. The question is, will you SUCK the poison out or will you just watch him die?
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Silly Susie
in JokesLittle Susie was watching her father, a pastor, write a sermon. “How do you know what to say?” she asked. “Why, God tells me.” “Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”
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Things Dad Won’t Say
in Jokes9. Well, how ’bout that?…I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions. 8. You know, Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun? 7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car – GO CRAZY. 6. What do you mean…
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Block Past It
in JokesA policeman was walking the beat when suddenly he saw a large black man pummeling a small jewish man as he pinned him to the concrete. The policeman quickly rushed in to break up the scuffle. He asked the black man what was going on and why he was beating the helpless man. The black…
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Here Comes The Bride’s Mother!
in JokesJennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and she would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought an identical dress!…
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A Poem About Yo NASTY MOMMA
in JokesFloat like a butterfly Sting like a bee I slept with yo momma Now it burns when I pee !
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George Bush – Liar?
in JokesA few decades from now, George Bush will die (everyone dies eventually). He goes up to Heaven where he sees a bunch of clocks, and he asks God what the clocks do. “These clocks go forward one minute each time the person tells a lie.” Bush looks for his clock. “Where’s mine?” “Oh, that one?…
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Well Behaved Students
in JokesThe fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everyjoke was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why…
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Another Chicken Joke that Doesn’t Involve Crossing the Road
in JokesWhat do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg!
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You’re an Idiot!
in JokesRyan: Hey Philip, what’s that on your leg? Philip: A shoe! Ryan: Gesundheit! Philip: No, you idiot, a shoe! Ryan: No need to thank me, gesundheit!
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16 Things to Do in a Boring Movie.
in JokesTHINGS TO DO AT A BORING MOVIE: 1. Wear a top hat and make sure you sit in front of kids. 2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!” 3. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses. 4. Clap when the good guy gets killed. 5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go,…