5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Henry Goes to Confession…

    in

    Henry goes to confession and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Last night I was with seven different women.” The priest says, “Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing.” “Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?” “No,” replies the priest. “But it’ll wipe that silly…

  • puns, puns, and More puns

    in

    Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? A. After five years your job will still suck. Q. How can you spot…

  • Striped Joke

    in

    What is striped and lays eggs? A chicken in jail!

  • Reason to Live

    in

    Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Do you know about the birds and the bees?” “I don’t want to know!” little Johnny said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh dad,” Little Johnny sobbed, “At age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the…

  • Pardon Me

    in

    After she was finished with Cinderella, the fairy godmother paid a visit on another poor young girl, Minuetta. Extremely flat-chested, the woman is convinced that her life would improve if only she had large breasts. “All right,” the fairy godmother said. “How about we fix it so that every time a man says ‘pardon’ to…

  • The Upset Drunk

    in

    A drunk is in the bar and crying uncontrollably. The man beside him asks him what’s wrong. The drunk says, “I forgot what my wife told me, she said if I went out drinking again she’d divorce me and take the kids.” The man says, “Well don’t go home yet. It’s only 6 p.m. Walk…

  • Redneck > Newyorker + Mexican

    in

    A New Yorker, a redneck and a Mexican go in to the bathroom, and start to wash. The Mexican and the New Yorker start to wash their hands. The Mexican says, “At my school they taught me to use a paper towel to dry your hands, so they get dry.” The New Yorker says, “My…

  • Keys Please, Louise

    in

    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for…

  • Gravity Defying Tequila

    in

    A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to him couldn’t believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised…

  • Funerals

    in

    Always go to other peoples funerals, or they wont come to yours.

  • FORE

    in

    A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly missing another golfer. When the first golfer gets to his ball he is greeted by his unintended victim who angrily tells him of the near miss. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to yell fore,”…

  • We and You is Friends

    in

    We and You is friends. You smile, We smile….. You hurt, We hurt…. You cry, We cry… You jump off a bridge… We gonna miss you!