5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Mind Your P’s & Q’s

    in

    During taxi, the crew of a US AIR departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, “US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on ‘Charlie’ taxiway; you turned right on ‘Delta.’ Stop…

  • I Wish There was Something Between Us

    in

    There was a really dramatic woman and a small man. The small man worked at a ballroom. The woman got dressed up all fancy and went to the ballroom. She went up to the man and said, “I hope there is something between us! And the little man said, “Me too! A continent!”

  • Bath Tub

    in

    Yo Momma so fat, she filled up the tub before she put the water in it.

  • Frog Noises

    in

    A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa’s room. “Grampa, Grampa,” he says excitedly, “as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!” “What?” said his…

  • Security Breach

    in

    They had quite a scare in Washington, DC, today. Apparently, President Obama was meeting with some potential cabinet nominees and someone noticed a suspicious looking document on the table that no one had ever seen before. Turns out it was just a tax form, but it gave them quite a fright. – Jay Leno

  • Cheapskate

    in

    Q: How do you keep a cheepskate busy? A: Put him or her in a round room and tell them that you droped a $20 bill in the corner.

  • Annoy1

    in

    General Ways to Annoy People Announce when you’re going to the bathroom. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. “I’m Bob, nice to meet you…” “PROVE IT!”) ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

  • A Cup of Coffee

    in

    Guest: “A cup of coffee, please!” Waiter: “Turkish or filtered?” Guest: “Why, filtered, of course.” Waiter: “Then you’ll have to bring your own filter paper for now.”

  • Enchanted Rattlesnake

    in

    It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails, looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared, and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. “Hold…

  • In Flight Emergency

    in

    Pilot: “Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct!” Tower: “Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, ‘Our Father, who art in heaven…’”

  • Comparing Superpowers

    in

    Super Agility: “Oh look, a bullet. Better dodge that!” *mega-jump!* Bulletproof: “Oh look, a bullet. Meh, who cares?” Super Smart: “Eureka! A Bullet! It going 60 MPH will hit me in 5 seconds if it contacts, but there is only a 1 in 7 chance it will hit me, the decimal being 0.1428571429 to the…

  • Muffins

    in

    If you think about it, a muffin is just a bald cupcake!