Jokes
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Illegal Turn
in JokesA father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn’t allowed. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” he said. “That’s OK, Dad,” his son replied. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”
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All the Honesty
in JokesA man, standing before a censor, is about to testify, whether he has a wife. The censor asks: -Do you have, in all your honesty, a wife? -I surely do, but not in all my honesty.
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Learn To Keep Time
in JokesA musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, “Either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. . . . It’s up to you, sync or swim.”
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The Diamond
in JokesTheir was a very rich old lady that died.Before she died she gave all her money and stuff to her children and grandchildren. She had one thing left to give out. It was a diamond. She said she hid it in a cylinder with squares. A grandchild said he knew where it was. Where was…
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During the Church Service…
in JokesDuring the church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, “I apologize for crying so much. I’m usually not such a big boob.” The bishop rose to close the session and remarked, “That’s okay. We like big…
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Sign of the Times
in JokesWhat kind of sign does a prostitute hang on her door when she goes on vacation? “GO SCREW YOURSELF!”
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Things You Would Like To Say!
in JokesTHINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you are full of shit. 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is NEVER good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this…