5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Scabs

    in

    Three men are outside a pub when one said, “I dare you to go in and ask for a free glass of milk!” One of the other men went in the pub and said, “Can I have a free glass of milk?” “Only if you pick the scabs of my daughter’s fanny!” replied the barmaid.…

  • A Lawyer’s Trick

    in

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he…

  • In England . . .

    in

    A South African, an Australian and an Englishman are all drinking in a bar. Suddenly, the South African downs the remainder of his drink, tosses his glass in the air, draws his pistol and shoots the glass. “In South Africa our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same ones…

  • Stupid Blonde

    in

    How can you tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.

  • More Definitions

    in

    Twenty Something – The cost of a sitter for Saturday night. Fancy Restaurant – One that serves cold soup on purpose. College – The four-year period when parents are permitted access to their home telephone. Hors D’oeuvres – A sandwich cut into 20 pieces. Kissing – A means of getting two people so close together…

  • Holding

    in

    A man and his wife are in bed getting hot and heavy when the wife just pushes him away and says, “No, actually I don’t feel like sex tonight. Could you just hold me?” The man very mad says, “What?! Why the hell can’t we have sex??” The woman replies, “This is so typical, you…

  • Top Ten Ways To Freak Out Your Co-Workers

    in

    10. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. 9. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on…

  • It Ate Me

    in

    If Six is afraid of Seven because Seven ate (Eight) Nine, why did Six soon die? Because Six, Seven ate (Eight) (678)

  • New Motorcyle

    in

    An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. “Where did you get such a great bike?”, asked the first. The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike…

  • Blonde Buys Curtains

    in

    A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: “I would like to buy a pink curtain that’s the size of my computer screen”. The surprised salesman replies: “But, madam, computers do not need curtains….” And the blonde said: “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

  • How to Stop Putting Things Off!

    in

    I’ll tell ya later.

  • 50 Years of Marriage

    in

    A couple was about to celebrate 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had varied excuses. “Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad,” gushed son number one. “Sorry, I’m running late… I just didn’t have the…