Jokes
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The Frog and Golf
in JokesA man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears “Ribbit, 9 iron” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyjoke. So he…
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What Yacht You Got?
in JokesGoodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money some day. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. “Look at that yacht,” he said as they drove slowly past a marina. “That…
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How Many Men Does…
in JokesHow many men does it take to find anything? Zero. They have to ask a woman 1st and then after she tells them exactly where it is for the umpteenth time & they still can’t find it….. The now exasperated woman goes & gets it for them in the exact place she has told them…
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The Lords Name in Vain
in Jokes“My friend,” said St. Peter to the recently deceased, “you did lead an exemplary life on earth – but there is one instance of your taking the name of The Lord in vain. Would you care to tell us about it?” “I recall,” replied the new applicant, “it was in 1965 on the last hole…
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Things to say to Telemarketers
in Jokes1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is…
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Mind Telling Me the Time
in JokesA Blonde asks a woman, “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” The woman replies, “It’s 11:25PM.” The Blonde with a confused look on her face replies, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing. I’ve asked that question thirty times today and every time someone gives me a different answer.”
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Blondes and Lightbulbs Don’t
in JokesHow many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.