Jokes
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Dinner Troubles
in JokesA man and a woman are having an intimate dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the man quietly slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice.The waitress comes over and says, “Excuse me, Ma’am, but…
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Italian Christmas
in JokesChristmas Italian Style ‘Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda my pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!” When what to my Wonderin’ eyes should appear, But…
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The Elmo Misunderstanding
in JokesA new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am, there’s a knock at the personnel manager’s door, and the assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new…
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Cross the Road #2
in JokesQ: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken. Q: Why did the pencil cross the road? A: It was lead.
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Reputations Deserved?
in Jokes* Perfume saleslady to customer: “Just a word of advice. Don’t put this stuff on if you’re not really serious about the guy.” * Contrary to popular belief, used-car salesmen are fairly honest with their customers. It’s usually a condition of their parole. * A really great salesman is one who can actually make his…
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Kiss His Ring
in JokesThe difference between the Pope and your boss…. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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The Way You Say it
in JokesIt’s not what you say, but the way you say it. On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: “Time stands still when I look into your eyes.” The girl was very flattered. What the boy had really meant was, “You have a face that would stop a clock.”
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“Income Taxes”
in JokesOne day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could…
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Still Another Variation Has…
in JokesThe confused protagonist suddenly finding himself in the presence of the genie, who informs him that he has one wish left; he has just used the second wish to completely undo the effect of the first, including his own memory of making it. Undaunted, the protagonist makes his third wish, only to have the genie…
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Smell So Bad
in JokesYo mamma smells so bad, when she went into the enchanted forest, all the skunks commited suicide!
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The Jellybean
in JokesYo mamma so fat when she sat on a jelly bean it got lost between her butt and her backbone, and we have been looking for it still for 31 years.