Jokes
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Blondes and Lightbulbs Don’t
in JokesHow many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.
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Multi-tasking
in JokesI know that most jokes about women involve the fact that they are not as “smart” as men and they cannot do two things at once. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never met a woman, no matter what age, who cannot multi-task, all women can multi-task. They talk and piss you…
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Teachers VS. Students
in JokesTeacher: Paul, what is the chemical formula of water? Paul: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: What is this? Paul: Well, you said it is H2O! ——————————————————- Teacher : Mike, get up! How can you sleep in my class? Mike : I can Mr, if you keep your voice down. ———————————————————– Teacher : Where does God live? Little boy…
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The Final Wish
in JokesOne day, Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter greeted her. “Hello, and welcome. You have lived a life full of prosperity and love. You have given millions around the world entertainment with your acting. Now I will provide you with one wish for the Earth before you enter Heaven. What…
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Excuse Form For All Occasions
in JokesThis form is designed for excuse you’ll need for the trouble you’ve caused.. Whenever there’s a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. Dear: a) Mom b) Dad c) Love of my life d) Teacher e) Local Police Chief Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am…
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Even More Famous Last Words
in JokesFamous Last Words “We’ll be safe here, trust me.” “Who cares about the severe weather warning, those forecasters are always wrong anyway.” “We’re not as high up as it looks, here I’ll show you.” “Who cares about those heart condition warnings anyway, I wanna ride this thing!” “My friend did this a while ago. I…
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46 Real Job Quotations…
in JokesJob Interview Quotations: Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. An interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.…
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Note to Mom
in JokesBilly’s teacher sent a note home to Mom saying, “Billy is a very bright boy, but spends much too much time thinking about girls and sex.” The next day Mom sent a note back to the teacher saying, “If you happen to find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Dad.”
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Frog in My Throat!
in JokesA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The…