Jokes

  • Misusing Pager

    A blond was using a pager for the first time. When the operator instructed her to key in “10” to leave a voice message, she followed and after the beep, said, “Excuse me, may I speak to Zeron please?”

  • A Fairy

    Once upon a time, there was a fairy called Nuff. Fair enough.

  • Parked Car

    I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said “Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the…

  • One-Armed Blonde

    How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave!

  • Bed Time

    One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ”Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!” ”No. You had your chance.” A minute later the boy screamed ”Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?” ”No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I’ll come…

  • Don’t Blame the Monkey!

    There was a coconut tree and 4 animals. 1. A Elephant 2. A Monkey 3. A Tiger 4. A Mouse Which one of these animals is going to climb up the tree to get the banana? NONE! “There was a COCONUT TREE” “…the tree to get the BANANA”

  • Cross-Country

    If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

  • Energizer Bunny

    News Flash : Today the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going and going, “Pinkie” as he was known to his…

  • People Are Stupid

    FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD! ————————————— Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an ‘E’ for Effort. We hope you enjoy them. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to…

  • Antarctica

    Yo momma is so fat and dumb, she used Antarctica as a popsicle!

  • No Glasses

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.” “Honey,” he replied with a grin,…

  • Wonder????

    If you’re fat. can you still disapear into thin air? If you’re fat, can you still have slim chances of doing something?