Jokes
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Ticket Please
in JokesThree lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three engineers buy only one ticket. “How can the three of you travel on one ticket?” asks a lawyer. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. Aboard the train the…
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CONFOUNDED:
in JokesA man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his joke. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for “small”, $6,500 for…
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The Best and Worst Things in Life.
in JokesThe best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.
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That Takes the Biscuit
in JokesA couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with “1 John 4:18” which reads, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake, “John 4:18” “For you…
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Life Goes On
in JokesOne night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Wilson, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Wilson noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw…
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Why Eat Healthy?
in Jokes1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die from natural causes. 2. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Try Our Curries
in JokesSign outside a Chinese restaurant: Try our curries, you’ll never get better.
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Winning and Quitting
in JokesIf winners never quit, and quitters never win… Who was the fool who said, “Quit while you’re ahead”.
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The Tattoo
in JokesA woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then…