Jokes
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The Umbrella
in JokesIf four people are standing under an umbrella and the umbrella has a hole in it, how many people are getting wet? None. It wasn’t raining!
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Chuck Norris Facts: 32
in JokesWhoever said “only the good die young” was probably in Chuck Norris’s kindergarten class. Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep. Chuck Norris doesn’t own a can opener, he…
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in JokesBASIC: Bill”s Attempt to Seize Industry Controlï¼æ¯å°çä¼å¾ï¼å¤ºåå·¥ä¸æ§å¶ï¼ ISDN: It Still Does Nothingï¼å®ä»ç¶ä»ä¹é½ä¸åï¼ DOS: Defunct Operating Systemï¼å·²æ»äº¡çæä½ç³»ç»ï¼ MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangsï¼å¤§é¨ååè½å´©æºï¼å¦æ没æï¼åæä½ç³»ç»æèµ·ï¼ WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole Systemï¼å°å¨ææç³»ç»ä¸å®è£ æ ç¨æ°æ®ï¼ MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagersï¼å¤§é¨åèªæçç¨æ·è®¤è¯å°æ们çè½¯ä»¶ä» ä» æ¬ºéªå¹´è½»äººï¼
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How Many Apples
in JokesDuring a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a…
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Born Naked
in JokesWe are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass… then things get worse.
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Pajamas
in JokesA man phones home from the office and tells his wife, “Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I’ll be home in…
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Visiting Grandma…
in JokesA grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator…
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Blond Inventions
in JokesGlow in the dark sunglasses A book on how to read A dictionary index Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alcohol Reusable ice cubes See through toilet tissue Skinless bananas Do it yourself roadmap
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Batty Books 2!
in JokesCrime and Punishment by Laura Norda The Use of Natural Fertilizers; by G.G. Dunnit The Way to Quick Riches; by Robbin Banks Holidays in Britain; by A. Pauline Whetha Contagious Diseases; by Willie Catchit Driving Through Germany; by Otto Mobile Broken Window; by Eva Brick Monsters; by Frank N. Stein Cliff Tragedy; by Eileen Dover…
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Yo Momma’s So Fat….
in JokesYo mommas is so fat it takes a twinky and a tub of butter to get her through the door.
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White Horse
in JokesA white horse walked into a bar. The barman saw him and said, “We have a whiskey named after you!” The horse looked puzzled and said, “What, Eric?”