Jokes
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The Pine Tree
in JokesA young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee…
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Disagreements…
in JokesA blonde and a brunette have been fighting for over an hour about the sun. The brunette yells,”THE SUN IS A STAR!!!” The blonde yells,”NO IT’S EVERYONE IN THE WORLD’S FARTS!” The brunette says to the blonde,”Girl, you couldn’t play any stupider!” Shocked, the blonde says in reply,”Who’s playing?”
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Idiots of the World 2
in JokesSome may be offeneded by a few of these. This is not meant to hurt anyones feelings just to show how stupid some of our idols and leaders of the country are. “Did people build this, or did Indians?” – Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park “I was glad to see Italy win. All…
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Funny Newspaper Headlines
in Jokes1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 8. British Left Waffles on Falkland…
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A Meeting With the Psychologist
in JokesThis comes from an elderly man that spoke with me in a waiting room once. “I don’t like these places,” he said, “They’re always trying to find out what you’re thinking. “But I was nifty, I got around her, see. I had a way around it.” He looked at me and continued. “She asked me…
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Sheep Breeding
in JokesMany will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an Unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government. However, you may…
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Things To Do On The First Day Of School
in Jokes50 FUN THINGS TO DO ON FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL: 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector. 3. Sit in the front row and spend the…
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What Men Can & Cannot Wear To A Pool
in JokesA few rules for what men can and cannot wear at a private pool. 1) Speedos. Speedos cannot be worn by men under the following conditions: 1A) If when you look down, you can’t see the color of your Speedo, you probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be,…
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Opposite Day
in JokesJohnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference. MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal. JOHNNY: Really? I didn’t know it was opposite day!
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The Town of Chelm
in JokesThe town of Chelm decided to build a new synagogue. So, some strong, able-bodied men were sent to a mountaintop to gather heavy stones for the foundation. The men put the stones on their shoulders and trudged down the mountain to the town below. When they arrived, the town constable yelled, “Foolish men! You should…