Jokes
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Two Guys
in JokesTwo guys were swapping stories in the park one day and one guy (a war vet) mentioned that during the war he was captured and held for weeks without food. The other guy asked, “How could you survive without food?” “It wasn’t easy,” he said. “But I had a big meal before I was captured…
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Why Did the Chicken…?
in JokesWhy did the chicken do a poo right in front of a hole on a really busy footpath? Because he wanted people to slip on the poo and fall in the hole.
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Falling Hair
in JokesPatient: “My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?” Doctor: “A shoebox!”
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Chuck Norris Facts: 3
in JokesChuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Teenage Mutant Ninja…
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Questions That Have Confused Me!
in JokesWhy is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs. yet the mom weighs 30 lbs. more? Why do they call the small candy bars the “fun sizes”? Wouldn’t be more fun to eat a big one? Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?…
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Fat Contest
in JokesYo momma so fat, when she entered a fat contest she won 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prizes.
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Pied Piper 2.0?
in JokesA man walked into a curio shop in Galveston Texas. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it. He took it to the owner and asked, “How much is the…
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George
in JokesA man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the joke was so badly burned that somejoke would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George’s two friends, Joe and Al. Joe: “He’s burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over.” Joe looked at the dead man’s…
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How Many Lawyers…?
in JokesQ: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer”, and the party of the second…
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An Italian Doctor was Having…
in JokesAn Italian doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?”…