Jokes
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Chuck Norris Facts: 11
in JokesChuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day. Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever. Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The…
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Signs He Only Wants To Get Laid
in Jokes– Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing. – When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, “The skin bus to tuna town,” and then laughs until he cries. – You note that integrity is so important in a man,…
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Dead Horse Management
in JokesThe tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with…
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Police Station
in JokesQ: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn’t notice.
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Smart Monkeys
in JokesA tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, ”That’ll be $5000.”…
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On A Train
in JokesA man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m…
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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
in JokesQ: What do you have when there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and they all start hopping backwards? A: Receding hare line.
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Chair
in JokesThe voluptuous blonde entered the dentist’s office in an obvious state of agitation. She sat down in the chair and fidgeted nervously as the dentist prepared his utensils. “Oh, doctor,” she exclaimed, as he prepared to look into her mouth. “I’m so afraid of dentists. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have…
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Skipping School
in JokesThe local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to bunk and go to the mall with her friends waited till her parent’s had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of…
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Did You Get the Tickets?
in JokesBob: Did you get the tickets? Fred: What tickets? Bob: To the Gun Show! Well, let’s see now, I think they’re both pretty good, but…this one has it!