Jokes
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Grandfather
in JokesAfter being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on…
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Dem Bones
in JokesStarting from bottom to top, a short explanation of each joke parts uses 1. Toe-Object used for balance(do blondes and drunks have toes? Food for thought) 2. Foot-Place in mouth after saying something stupid 3. Shin-Object used for finding furniture in the dark. 4. Pelvic area-pretty self explanatory 5. stomache- stom ACHE… coincidence? I think…
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DEAD People
in JokesIf only DEAD people understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal? 57005.
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It’s True!!
in JokesOne bright day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other, drew their knives, and shot each other. a deaf policeman heard the noise, and came to kill those two dead boys. if you don’t believe my stories true, ask the blind guy,…
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Why?
in JokesA son asked his mother the following question: “Mum, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother replies, “Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.” The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father. “Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The father says, “Son, all household…
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Stopping the Hillbilly
in JokesThis hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. “You got any I.D.?” the patrolman asked. “‘Bout what?” the hillbilly replied.
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Elephant in the Bathtub
in JokesQ: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you? A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.
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New Checking Account
in JokesThe teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account. “The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store,” his mother said. “Oh good,” he replied, “Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!”
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LITTLE JOHNY
in JokesTEACHER: Why are you late? L-JOHNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? L-JOHNY: “School Ahead, Go Slow.” TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? L-JOHNY: “HIJKLMNO”!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? L-JOHNY: Yesterday you only said it’s H to O!!!! TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but…
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Taking Faith Healing Too Far
in JokesA faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. “They’re all fine,” Moshe said, “Except my uncle. He’s very sick.” “Your uncle is not sick,” the faith healer said. “He THINKS he’s sick.” Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. “How is your uncle getting along?” he asked.…