Jokes
-
I Am Gifted, Not Cursed
in JokesGirl eagerly asks her boyfriend “Where is my birthday gift?” The boyfriend points to a sport car across the street and says “You see that beautiful and expensive Ferrari on the other side of the road?” Girl gets excited and screams, “Yeah!” Boy, also excitedly, says, “Well, I got you the same color nail varnish!”
-
Alphabetical Sequence
in JokesChange the position of just one of the words below so that all the words are in an alphabetical sequence: llama phoenix hyena alligator beaver elephant tortoise antelope Antelope. Move it from the end to the beginning, the initial letters will then spell ALPHABET!
-
And That Makes . . . .
in JokesMistake: to err, to cause an error or make a mess; If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style… If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident… If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law… If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention… If a…
-
Marble, Stone, They’re All the Same!
in JokesWhat did the statue say to the other after a break-up and make-up? I’m sorry I took you for granite. (granted) hahahaha
-
Remove Seven Letters
in JokesRemove seven letters from this grid to leave two numbers. S F E V E I N L V E T E T F E R O S U R Simply remove ‘SEVEN LETTERS’ and you are left with FIVE and FOUR: – F – – – I – – V – – E –…
-
A Couple in Arkansas
in JokesIf a couple in Arkansas get married, move to Washington, then move back to Arkansas, are they still brother and sister?
-
When Is Fuck Acceptable?
in JokesThere are only eleven times in history where the “F” word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 11. “What the fuck do you mean we are sinking?” Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10. “What the fuck was that?” Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. “Where did all those fucking Indians…
-
The Desert Isle
in JokesAt the end of a hard year’s work, Bobby decides to take a holiday right away and he books himself on a Caribbean cruise. The first few days of the cruise are perfect but then calamity – the ship sinks and Bobby ends up on a small, uncharted island. He looks around and sees that…
-
Secret Service
in JokesA friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside: The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend…
-
Nobel Prizes
in Jokes1. Britney Spears & Eminem who, combined, have written more books than they’ve read. 2. Dr. Phil McGraw who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues. 3. America’s Oil Companies for a…
-
True Criminal Stories
in JokesBETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES…THEY COULD COME IN HANDY A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sport bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security…