5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive?

    in

    Makes one think, and puts things in perspective : Diet Snapple….16 oz $1.29……..$10.32 per gallon Lipton Ice Tea..16 oz $1.19……..$ 9.52 per gallon Gatorade……..20 oz $1.59…… $10.17 per gallon Ocean Spray…..16 oz $1.25…….$10.00 per gallon Brake Fluid…..12 oz $3.15 ….. $33.60 per gallon Vick’s Nyquil… 6 oz $8.35 …..$178.13 per gallon Pepto Bismol…..4 oz $3.85……$123.20…

  • If You Had 50 Cents

    in

    A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question. TEACHER:” If you had 50 cents in one pocket, and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have?” STUDENT:”50 cents.” TEACHER: “You obviously don’t know how to add.” STUDENT: “You obviously don’t know my dad!”

  • Cra-Z Laws:Alabama

    in

    Alabama • A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or “in a substantially nude state” except a babe in arms. • Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street. • An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of “uncertain chastity” had to be off the…

  • The Facts of Work

    in

    The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. Keep…

  • Writing

    in

    A tourist to New York City, Bob, was marveling at the Poe opera house. As a man passed by Bob asked “Was this building named for the great author and poet Edgar Allen Poe?” “No,” replied the man, “the building was named for James Poe.” “What did he write?” asked Bob. Said the man, “A…

  • If Only

    in

    Cover Charge: $15.00 Round of Drinks: $23.00 Table Dance: $30.00 Another Round of Drinks: $23.00 Couch Dance and Tips: $50.00 A Round of Shots: $34.00 Another Round of Drinks: $23.00 Lap Dance and Hand Job: $100.00 Private Dance and Hotel Room: $500.00 Sending her on her way without having to cuddle or listen to her:…

  • Alcoholic Courage

    in

    A young man entered a bar, walked to the counter and told the barman, “May I have a question, sir? I heard that a drink of beer will bring you the courage to do something terrible that you hate to do? Is that right, sir?” “Yes, I guess so,” the barman answered with a smile.…

  • Polite Ways of Putting it

    in

    Some useful descriptions of people you may come into contact with from day to day. 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching. 3. A room temperature IQ. 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together. 5. A…

  • Oy, was I Thirsty

    in

    An old Jewish man riding on a train begins to moan: “Oy, am I thirsty; oy, am I thirsty”, to the annoyance of the other passengers. Finally, another passenger gets a cup of water from the drinking fountain and gives it to the old man, who thanks him profusely and gulps it down. Feeling satisfied,…

  • Stuffed Lion

    in

    A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “What’s he stuffed with?” asked the visiting hunter, and the host…

  • Ultimate Embarrassment

    in

    What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Having an erection, walking into a wall, and hurting his nose.

  • What We Know from Movies

    in

    -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. -Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication…