Jokes
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Turkey Poem
in JokesWhen I was a young turkey, new to the coop, my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop, then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, and he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, when he told me…
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No Holes, Please
in JokesOne day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it. “Miss lunch lady,” she said at the end of the line, “I don’t like the holes in my cheese.” “That’s okay,” she said. “Just eat around them and leave them…
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Laws of Computing
in JokesWhen computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For…
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Grandma’s Hair
in JokesA little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom, “Why are some of your hairs gray?” The mom replies cleverly, “Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray.” The girl thinks for a…
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Strategic Responses to “Do I Look Fat?”
in JokesStrategic responses to the ever-dangerous “Do I look Fat” question: “No, not to Stevie Wonder.” “No babe, you’re not fat, you’re fluffy.” “Does this tie make me look stupid?” “No hablo ingles.” “If I answer that question, my life will be in danger.” “Let me jog around to your front and take a look.” “No,…
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Give You Something
in Jokes– I want to give you something. – That’s what your mom said to me last night.
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Future of Our World.
in JokesI believe in making the world safe for our children. But not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.
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The Sluts Prayer
in JokesNow I lay me down to sleep With the boy across the street Won’t my mommy be surprised When my tummy starts to rise Won’t my daddy be disgusted When he finds my cherry’s busted.
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Lover’s Bitch
in JokesSusan (女ï¼æ±çå©å) Vic (è°ä¾) Vic: Finger the baby’s ass, if he kicks, he’ll be a sorcer, if he screams, he’ll be a singer, if he laughs, he’ll be a homo. Susan:(ç¬ï¼ç¶åé®)What about a girl? Vic: We finger them when they over 18. …… ç笅.
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New Years Resolutions
in Jokes1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. You’ve been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. 6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more. 7. Get in a whole NEW rut! 8. Spend your summer vacation…