Jokes
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Calculator Joke
in JokesEnter this old elementary school story onto your calculator fun a cheap laugh – the numbers or signs that you should enter are in quotes. Once upon a time, there was an old lady who was “69” years old. She had always thought that her boobs were “222” (too too too) big. So she went…
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The Party II
in JokesSpecial bonus, two for the price of one! The party was in full swing, the drink going down several well-lubricated throats. One of the guests was a Scot, wearing the traditional kilt, and a couple of the more adventurous girls were teasing him, asking him if anything was worn under his kilt. He replied, “No,…
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Jumping From a Plane
in JokesThe Pope, the smartest man in the world, a father, and a son were in a plane that was going to crash. There were only three parachutes in the plane. The Pope says to them, “I need a parachute because I am worshiped by many people of religion.” So he takes a parachute and jumps.…
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The Older Lady
in JokesTwo older women were picking up a third friend for their weekly lunch when they accidentally ran over and killed her cat. It wasn’t a pretty sight, so rather than leave it for the woman’s husband to find, they scooped it into a Foley’s bag and took it with them, intending to throw it away…
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How to Talk Native Southern IV
in JokesRainch – A big cow farm. Rat – Do it rat now! Rench – Rench the soap yourself. Roont – She plum roont her shoes. Salary – A stringy vegetable. Soardeens – Small canned fish. Shar – A light rain. Gully Worsher – A medium heavy rain. Toad strangler – A heavy rain Sody. Pop…
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Signs You’re A High Tech Redneck
in JokesYour email address ends in “@over.yonder.com”. You have a bumper sticker on your truck that says “My other computer is a laptop”. You’ve ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone. Your spell checker knows words like, “Y’all”, “Yonder” and “Reckon”. You’ve ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set…
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Business As Usual in the Vatican
in JokesDuring a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from “give us this day our daily bread” to “give us this day our daily chicken.” and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later the…
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Email From God
in JokesOne day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, “Yes,…
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The Nativity Scene
in JokesIn a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town,…
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Colorguard Girls
in JokesQ: How many colorguard girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Five, one to call the colorguard forward and four to take it down with a ceremony.