Here are the reasons I’d Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.
– Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle — there’s so much to learn!
– I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.
– I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot.
– I can be one of those annoying cell phone users and catch up on all my phone calls to my insurance agent, mother-in-law, and Auntie Anne.
– I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home.
– I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas.
– I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time.
– I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning.
– I can update my coupon organizer and leave the trash in the we-never-open-enough-checkout-lanes store instead of my purse.
– I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers.
– I can practice some standing yoga poses and then do those isometric muscle-contracting exercises no one else in line is supposed to know you’re doing.
– I can taste my package of the newest low-carb, zero-transfat, Splenda-saturated cookies.
– I can breathe heavily on my T-bones so they’re defrosted in time for dinner and I won’t have to leave them out on the driveway in the hot late afternoon sun as I normally do.