Defining the Undefinable

Man
A remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat his back.

Woman
Creature who acts nice to you because she doesn’t like you, or mean, because she does.

People
Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.

Optimist
Girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

Pessimist
Man who looks for a pink slip before the money in his pay envelope.