My friend and I were in a record store to buy a 45-speed record of his favourite song. After he located it, he realized that he had forgotten his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decided to get a five-finger discount (shoplift) so he put it down his pants.
Well, as we were leaving the store, the cashier stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but is that a record in your pants?”
To this he responded, “It may not be a record, but I’m mighty proud of it.”