It’s Time to Turn Your Computer Off When…

– You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed.

– You name your children Eudora, AOL and dotcom.

– You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

– You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment.

– You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

– You laugh at people with 14.4 band modems.

– You start using smileys in your snail mail.

– You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com

– You can’t call your mother because she doesn’t have a modem.

– You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

– You don’t know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screennames and you never bothered to ask.

– You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you Landscape

– You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.garden/house/brick.html

– You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

– After reading this, you immediately e-mail it to your friends.