These are real labelings on real products that they sell around the world.
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And that would be how?…)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (But it’s just a SUGGESTION.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (Hmm, a no go on the dessert)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (Really? I thought it would be cold)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on joke.” (Oh darn, I was going to!)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:”Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (That would really bring down the number of construction accidents by keeping those 5-year-olds off of those forklifts!)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (And I’m taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (Well, where else would I use them?)
On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (Whoa, news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Wow, musta taken a genius to write this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:”Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.” (Thanks for the tip)
On a love sack: caution: Do not play on – may cause injury or death. (Death?)