– “Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?”
– “Been there, slain that.”
– “What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?”
– “They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.”
– “When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren’t the only thing they stretched.”
– “Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chamber floor.”
– Wench: “What’s that sound?” Knight: “That’s just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.”
– “Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!”
– “Your hovel or mine?”
– “Pardon me, madam, but wouldst thou like to see my long sword in action?”
– “Dost thou practice safe hex?”
– “Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.”
– “I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.”
– “You should be glad I’m not a Viking.”
– “You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.”
– “I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I’m walking on!”
– “Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?”
– “You won’t believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you…the fate of England depends is on it!!”
– “I’m really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?”
– “My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.”
– “I’ve been VERY NAUGHTY. You’ll have to put me in the stocks and…er…PUNISH me, now won’t you?”
– “You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn’t my hair that the queen asked me to let down.”
– “I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m’lady.”
– “C’mon, sweetie…didn’t your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.”
– “I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?”