Performance Evaluations

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations throughout the U.S. Hopefully, none of us will be seeing similar ones on ours.

– Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

– His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

– I would not allow this employee to breed.

– This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.

– Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

– When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

– He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

– This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

– He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

– This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

– This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

– He’s got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

– A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.