Never test the depth of water with both feet.
Don’t take candy from strangers, unless they offer you a ride.
I’ll start exercising as soon as i get into shape.
If you have something to say, raise your hand and put it over your mouth.
Maybe you should go to e-bay and buy a clue.
Earth is full. go home.
Gee, I’d like to care, but I wasn’t given that gene.
Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you, they can’t laugh either. (i like this one)
If you can’t laugh at yourself, at least let me do it.
I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Visa. (ok that was kind’a dumb)
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.