Strategic responses to the ever-dangerous “Do I look Fat” question:
“No, not to Stevie Wonder.”
“No babe, you’re not fat, you’re fluffy.”
“Does this tie make me look stupid?”
“No hablo ingles.”
“If I answer that question, my life will be in danger.”
“Let me jog around to your front and take a look.”
“No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains.”
“May I consult a lawyer before answering that?”
“Look at your belt size honey, if it says ‘equator’ on the tag you know the answer.”