animal

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, “But don’t worry, the cat is in heaven with God…

Cock-a-doodle-doo, it’s time for chicken, Cock-a-doodle-doo, it’s time for a feast, Eat a ninety-piece bucket then you can tell, He’s been to Cluckin’ Bell! Chicken is a bird with a tiny brain, So we assume he doesn’t feel any pain. We shrink their heads and we breed ’em fast; Six wings, forty breasts and then…

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. He says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, can you do something for him?” “Let’s have a look at him,” says the vet, as he picks up the dog, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth. “I’m going to have to put him down,” he finally says. “What?” says the…

Why didn’t the duck cross the road? To prove he’s no chicken.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!!!

A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, “Dad, am I pure polar bear?” The dad replies, “Sure you are son. I’m all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear.” Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to…

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

A man had just got his car stuck in a mudhole during a drive in the country and he needed help getting it out. So he walked until he found a farm and asked the farmer for help. The farmer agrees to help the guy out. So he takes a horse out of the stable…

There was a fatal bus accident and the only survivor was a monkey. In order to fill in the blanks of the event, the police had hired a monkey trainer that could speak sign language with the monkey. The trainer first asked the monkey if he had actually been on the bus. The monkey nodded…

What did the fish say when he crashed into a wooden wall? Beaver damn!

An elephant is talking to a hippopotamus, and the elephant says, “You know, there’s nothing worse than a cold in the nose.” The hippo says, “Oh yeah? Did you never have chapped lips?”

What s green and hangs from a tree??? Giraffe Boogers