animal
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Patriotic Parrot
in JokesYesterday, I walked into a pet store. When I walked to the back of the store, I saw an interesting parrot. The parrot had a ribbon on either foot. There was a red ribbon on his left foot, and a blue ribbon on his right foot. As I was wondering what the ribbons were for,…
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Bull
in JokesThere were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. “Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?” asked George. “George, relax. Here is how it works. We’ll wait…
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Fruit Cake Recipe
in JokesFruit Cake Recipe 1 c water 1 c butter 4 lg. eggs 1 btl WHISKEY 8 oz mixed nuts 1 tsp. salt juice of one lemon 1 c brown sugar 2 c dried fruit 1 tsp baking powder Sample whiskey to check quality. Take a large bowl. Re-sample whiskey to ensure it is of the…
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Stupid Cat
in JokesMy cat is crazy. I had just sat down to eat my hot dog when she jumped in my lap. She scared the crap out of me. I mean, I literally screamed. Then I’m like, “Whatever.” and I went back to my hot dog. Then I felt something sharp on my fingers. That stupid thing…
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Ten Signs You Know You’re At A Bad Zoo
in Jokes1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The bears’ exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The zookeeper always wants to take the rhino…
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Monkey Manners
in JokesSeveral years ago, Baltimore Zoo decided to encamp colonies of tiny Green Monkeys and large Drill Baboons together on an island, the theory being that the primates would stay put because neither could swim. But the morning after the exhibit opened, zoo officials found little Green Monkeys off the island and wandering around the zoo.…
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An idiot and Cows
in JokesGuy1: Thats a bunch of cows. Farmer: No, a herd. Guy1: Of course I’ve heard of cows. Farmer:.No, I mean the cow herd Guy1: I have no secrets from cows
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Yo Momma and the Pig
in JokesYo Momma is so smelly that when she entered a pig sty, all the pigs had to evacuate…
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road
in JokesWhy did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken and the road can’t agree on anything.
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What Type of Snake
in JokesThere where two snakes talking. The 1st one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?” The second snake says, “Why do you ask?”…