animal

  • Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” “Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her…

  • Elephant on a Highway

    What was the elephant doing on the highway? About 5 mph

  • Don’t Blame the Monkey!

    There was a coconut tree and 4 animals. 1. A Elephant 2. A Monkey 3. A Tiger 4. A Mouse Which one of these animals is going to climb up the tree to get the banana? NONE! “There was a COCONUT TREE” “…the tree to get the BANANA”

  • Elephants Coming II

    Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming? A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.

  • Ewww! (Mik And Mak from Bad News are Back!)

    Mik: “Do skunks have a good sense of smell?” Mak: “No! If they did, they’d jump off a cliff!”

  • animal Sex

    Did you hear about the woman who had sex with a donkey? Apparently she liked an ass.

  • Dog With No Legs

    Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him!

  • The Baby Camel

    A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Momma, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” A few minutes later, the young camel asks,…

  • Baby Turtle

    A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. When he landed at the bottom…

  • Grizzly Fish

    What do you get when you cross a fish and a grizzly? A Bearacuda.

  • Grey Hounds

    Q: When is a black dog not a black dog? A: When its a grey hound.

  • Big, Grey and Wrinkly

    Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly? A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.