animal

  • Carrots

    How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

  • Small Dogs

    Q: Why do people have small dogs? A: So they can carry them in their bags, and when the person farts, they can blame it on the dog.

  • Noah Receipts

    When the ark’s door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the animals. “Listen up!” Noah said with a demanding voice. “There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt.…

  • There’s A Parrot On The Plane

    On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky, you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is…

  • Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat

    Can You Decipher This Phrase? cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat Catch 22! (22 cats).

  • Kangaroo and a Sheep

    Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

  • Races

    Some race horses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well, in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!” “Oh, that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another,…

  • Lonely Fisherman

    What do you call a lonely fisherman? A Master-Baiter

  • Snake

    Just after Creation the Lord noticed that the original male-female pair of snakes were not reproducing. He summoned them and said, “I thought I told everyone to go forth and multiply?” The snakes replied, “Yes Lord, but we cannot.” The Lord was annoyed and thundered, “and why not?” to which the snakes answered, “You see,…

  • animals of the jungle

    1 How do you fit an elephant into your fridge within 3 steps? 2 How do you fit a zebra in your fridge? 3 King of the jungle , the lion every animal in the jungle will come to his wedding but one animal won’t which one is it? 4 A man needs to get…

  • Who Gives a Hoot?

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth, with Tom even keeping a log of the “conversation.” Just as Tom thought he was on the verge of…

  • Two Elephants in Your Refrigerator

    Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.