animal

gun(which shoots bees)

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? A: Sparky!

A man is walking down the street. Further down the street he notices Little Johnny. Little Johnny is sitting in a red wagon, wearing a fireman’s hat. The wagon is tied to a dog, by its balls. The man says to LittleJohnny “Little Johnny you could go alot further, if you tied the rope around…

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked. Cindy put her hand up and said “Moooo!” “Very good” replied the…

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Russian company: You have two cows. You drink some vodka and count them again. You have five cows. The Russian Mafia shows up and takes however many cows you have.

A duck, a skunk, and a frog go to the movies. Tickets cost one dollar. Which animal doesn’t get in? The skunk! The frog has a green back, the duck has a bill, but the skunk only has a scent.

Confucius say… ~He who value skin does not wash cat

Rules for the dog- _______________________ 1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. Ok, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain parts. 3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture. 4. The dog can get on the old furniture only. 5. Fine,…

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!

A man and his love had a terrible spat: She scratched his face and he knocked her flat; She spat at him and he threw her around; She jumped from behind and he fell to the ground. How sad to see such trouble as that… Between a man and his household cat!

Paddy tells Mick he’s thinking of buying a Labrador dog. “Oh, I wouldn’t if I were you!”, says Mick. “Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”