animal

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light,…

Two kangaroos were living in a zoo pen with a 20-foot high fence. One morning, both kangaroos were found wandering around the zoo, and were quickly put back in their pen, and the fence was put up to 30 feet. Next morning, they were found outside again, so the fence was made 40 feet high.…

What is represented by this? WOWOLFOL Wolf in sheep’s clothing (wool)!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had no frontal lobe.

Why does a duck cross the street? Because it was the chicken’s and turkey’s day off.

Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights? A: To the moovies

Can you decipher this phrase? EHCA Backache!

A guy was having trouble with his cat. His cat would always scratch the sofa but never the scratching post. One day the guy got an idea; he bought a new couch and replaced the scratching post with the old couch hoping this would solve his problem, but his cat just began scratching the new…

Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden. He actually *does* have your tongue. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch. Cyanide pawprints all over the house. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown…

What kind of monkey eats chips? A chipmunk!

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly “Interesting movies”? It could be that you’re one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join M.U.N.S.A. – Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association. Try the questionnaire below.…