bar

It’s forty below zero one winter “night” in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, “You owe me quite a bit on your tab.” “Sorry,” says Pat, “I’m flat broke this week.” “That’s okay,” says the bartender. “I’ll just write your name and the amount you owe me…

This guy sits down at the bar, and starts telling the bartendar, “I’ve been married for 12 years now and I want some variety. I’m sick of the same old thing! I want something different!” The bartendar says, “12 years thats a long time, you don’t want to do anything stupid! Hell, if ya want…

A poor man walks into a bar. Another man sat down 2 feet away from him, and pulled out a wad of $50s from his wallet. The poor man got an idea. He tells the rich man, “I have a special talent. I bet you all the money in your wallet I can sing a…

A man walks into a bar. He falls down, unconscious. Why is this? Because the man walked into a solid bar. A solid, metal bar!

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy, the barman replied “Yes.” So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks “Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with chips,…

Customer: I see you have gravy on your menu today. Waiter: Yes, sir. What would you like to have? Customer: A clean menu!

Joe walks out of a bar, swaying back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?” asks the cop. “Yes! Somejoke stole my car!” Joe replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It…

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, “Going to a party?” ‘Yeah,’ the man answered, ‘I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.’ ‘But you look like Abe Lincoln.’ protested the…

A man walks into a bar and has a drink. Then he hears a tiny voice say, “You are so handsome.” He looks to see who said that but finds no one. So he drinks again. Then he hears a tiny voice say, “You are so smart and kind.” He looks around again and doesn’t…

A man stumbles into his house after a night of drinking and is greeted by his very angry wife. “What’s the big idea of coming home half drunk?” she yells. “I’m sorry, honey, but I ran out of money,” he mutters.

A man goes into a bar. He sits down and starts staring at a young punk with spiked red hair, multicolored clothes, and an earring. The punk gets mad turns around and says, “Hey old man, what are you looking at?” The old man says, “Nothing, it’s just that when I was in the army,…

Three vampires go into a bar. The bartender asks the first one, “What can I getcha?” The first vampire replies, “I’ll have a pint of blood”. The bartender then asks the second vampire, and he too orders a pint of blood. The bartender turns to the third vampire and asks, “What about you?” The third…