blonde

A blonde filled her car with gas at a self-service gas station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized that she had left the gas cap on top of her car. She stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, she thought for a second and realized that other people must…

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. “I’d like a box of birdseed,” said the lady. “For which kind of bird?” he asked helpfully. “Oh, I dunno,” she replied. “Whichever will grow the fastest.”

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? A: They’re doing research on black holes.

A blonde got an invitation to a party which said “Wear brown tie only!” After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!

What does a blonde and a screendoor have in common? The harder you bang them the looser they get. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Get dressed and go home

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, “I wonder why?” The blonde replied, “Must be because the oil would suffocate them.”

A blonde and brunette jump off a cliff at the same time. Why did the brunette hit the floor before the blonde? The blonde asked for directions!

An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to “Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix…

Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? Her blinker was on.

A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant. “Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?”…

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, “Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.…

Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how you cook food stamps.