blonde

There’s a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken. The first day the blonde paints 5.4 miles of road, the brunette paints 6 miles of road. The second day the blonde paints 4.1…

What do you say to a blonde who looks stupid in her ear muffs? Anything you want! She cant hear you! P.S. no offence to blondes!

One day after a birthday party at the jumper house, a young blond told her mother: Mommy, Mommy, I’m soooooo generous! When I was about to go into the jumpers, I found so many shoes and took them to the lost and found! Aren’t I soooooo generous?

A blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. “You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress,” said the genie. The blonde replied, “I wish I had an endless glass of wine.”…

How can you tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: “I would like to buy a pink curtain that’s the size of my computer screen”. The surprised salesman replies: “But, madam, computers do not need curtains….” And the blonde said: “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, “Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?” She replied with, “I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does…

A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her. She yells, “THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!” The librarian stares at her, then calmly replies, “So you’re the one who took our phone book.”

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,”I’d like to buy this TV”. He says,”Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes”. The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens. Finally, she shaves her…

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for…

A smart blonde, a leprachaun and a fairy were in an elevator together talking about something, but whatever they were talking about was not true because there is no such thing as a leprechaun or a fairy or a smart blonde.