blonde

“How come you’re late?” asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door. “It was awful,” she explains. “I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He’d been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was…

A blonde wanted to have a copy of herself, so she went to the US, and they asked her for a sample of her blood. They asked her to come back after a week, so she went after a week and she saw a donkey, and they told her that this is her copy. She…

GOOD JOKE: A blonde. BETTER JOKE: A blonde playing chess. BEST JOKE: The blonde wins the game.

One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, “I want to buy that TV.” The man says “No.” The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown.…

How do you turn a blonde into a brunette? Make her do a cartwheel!

A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. “That’s a…

One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn’t her birthday. A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter. She ordered the dessert again and the waiter…

Blond: Daddy! I know my alphabet! Dad: That took you 5 yaars! Blond: I know, but now I know my ABD’s!

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by…

Help…. The Titanic is going to sink. Everyjoke on the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God… Just then an Italian asks a nearby blond on the ship, Italian: “How far is land from here?” Blond: “Two miles.” Italian: “Only two miles? Then why are these fools making so much noise? I can…

A blonde buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, “20 uses”. A day later, the blonde calls the laundry detergent company and says, “I bought your product and the box says ’20 uses’, but all it does is my laundry!”

Umm…why is this cat called “blond” when really it’s spelled “blonde”??