blonde

A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. “That’s a…

One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn’t her birthday. A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter. She ordered the dessert again and the waiter…

Blond: Daddy! I know my alphabet! Dad: That took you 5 yaars! Blond: I know, but now I know my ABD’s!

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by…

Help…. The Titanic is going to sink. Everyjoke on the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God… Just then an Italian asks a nearby blond on the ship, Italian: “How far is land from here?” Blond: “Two miles.” Italian: “Only two miles? Then why are these fools making so much noise? I can…

A blonde buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, “20 uses”. A day later, the blonde calls the laundry detergent company and says, “I bought your product and the box says ’20 uses’, but all it does is my laundry!”

Umm…why is this cat called “blond” when really it’s spelled “blonde”??

A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was…

Q: What do you call 4 blondes standing side-by-side? A: A wind tunnel.

A blonde and her husband go to buy her new clothes. First, they decide she needs a new shirt, so they go through a few shirts but she rejects them all. Finally she points at one that she likes, but he thinks it is ugly, so he says no. They go through almost the whole…

A blonde, brunette, and redhead all go into a building to take an emergency course. After a few minutes of introductions, the instructor of the course starts to talk about fire. “Wherever you see a fire, you need to call 911, imediately.” After an hour or so of the lecture, the brunette makes an excuse…

What to a blonde is long and hard? 4th Grade