blonde

Mission to Mars (Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut) The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle. “Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions.” The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4…

Why did a blonde take an empty glass and a glass full of water to bed? She wasn’t sure if she would get thirsty during the night.

A blonde buys a thermos. Two days later, she’s back in the shop and wants a refund. The sales person asks her why she’s returning it. She replies, “Well, when I bought it, you said it would keep hot things hot and cold things cold, but yesterday I took some coffee and ice-cream to work…

A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman reporter shouted out “This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!”. Then the red-head leans over…

I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it’s somewhat similar to something that happened in the show). A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs. Teacher: “So what would you say your IQ is?” she asks a student…

What do you get when you breed a blonde and a New York gangster? A juvenile deliquent who spray paints chain link fences.

January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels . . . Helllloooo!!! . . . bottles won’t fit in printer!!! March – Got really excited . . . finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months . . . box said…

Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, “You think your assistant is dumb, watch this.” And the man calls over the blond and says “Go to my house and see if I’m home.” So the blond says “Yes sir! Right away sir!” and away she goes. The…

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common? A: They’re both fun to…

Today in history class the topic was the Incas. Hoping to see if the students had done the reading, the teacher calls on random students and asks them questions. “Where could the Incas be found?” The teacher’s first question. “Jonie?” foolishly she called on the blonde. Not having actually done the homework, and only halfway…

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind, I got in…

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, “You have acute appendicitis.” The blonde yelled at the doctor, “I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!”