blonde

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last…

A blonde walked into a library and said to the librarian, “Can I have some fish and chips please?” The librarian gave her a funny look and said, ” I’m sorry, this is a library.” So the blonde whispers,”Can I have some fish and chips please?”

One day a blonde was surfing the internet. After a few hours, she decided to have a coffee break. When the blonde came back, she screamed. There was a bug on her moniter! She ran upstairs and grabbed a fly swatter. When she came back down she couldn’t swat the bug. It was to big!…

A blonde was at a department store for the first time and was very confused. The man beside her was getting irritated at the blonde because she kept asking him so many questions about the store. He said, “Please! Just stop asking me so many questions!” “Oh,” the blonde replied. “Why?”

Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play “The Calculator Game”. I’m sure many people reading this remember it – it’s the one where you enter “1 + 1 =” into your calculator and continue pressing the “=” sign. The goal is to see who…

A blonde filled her car with gas at a self-service gas station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized that she had left the gas cap on top of her car. She stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, she thought for a second and realized that other people must…

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. “I’d like a box of birdseed,” said the lady. “For which kind of bird?” he asked helpfully. “Oh, I dunno,” she replied. “Whichever will grow the fastest.”

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? A: They’re doing research on black holes.

A blonde got an invitation to a party which said “Wear brown tie only!” After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!

What does a blonde and a screendoor have in common? The harder you bang them the looser they get. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Get dressed and go home

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, “I wonder why?” The blonde replied, “Must be because the oil would suffocate them.”

A blonde and brunette jump off a cliff at the same time. Why did the brunette hit the floor before the blonde? The blonde asked for directions!