children

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid said, “My dad is so scared that, when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed.” “Oh, yeah? That’s nothing,” said the second kid. “My dad is so scared that, when my mom has to work the night shift, he goes next…

A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Jason – Chicken Pie Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir…

Who is the patron saint of playgrounds? St. Francis of a see-saw!

Little Johnny was doing his homework, and it was some sort of code where you had to fill in which letter is which, i.e. the letter a = 1, b = 2, d = 4, etc. He got to one that he didn’t know which number it was, and he decided to ask his father,…

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one! Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go…

Excuse Notes from Parents … These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston… My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.…

Children in the back of the car cause accidents. Accidents in the back of the car cause children

Mom: Why did you get a grade so low? Junior: Because of absence. Mom: Who, You? Junior: No, the kid who sits right next to me.

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two small children entered the dining room naked and proceeded to parade slowly around the table. Embarrassed, the parents pretended nothing was happening and continued to converse with their guests. The guests co-operated and also carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. After they finished…

A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don’t be angry at your sister,” the mother says. “She doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling, and her brother says, “Now she…

A boy walks home an hour late to class, the teacher asks him, “Why are you so late?” The boy replies, “I stopped two boys from beating each other up.” The teacher says, “That’s very nice; how did you do that?” The boy says, “I beat them both up!”

A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class. NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette – Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell – Turkey You cut the…