children

Little Johnny was doing his homework, and it was some sort of code where you had to fill in which letter is which, i.e. the letter a = 1, b = 2, d = 4, etc. He got to one that he didn’t know which number it was, and he decided to ask his father,…

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one! Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go…

Excuse Notes from Parents … These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston… My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.…

Children in the back of the car cause accidents. Accidents in the back of the car cause children

Mom: Why did you get a grade so low? Junior: Because of absence. Mom: Who, You? Junior: No, the kid who sits right next to me.

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two small children entered the dining room naked and proceeded to parade slowly around the table. Embarrassed, the parents pretended nothing was happening and continued to converse with their guests. The guests co-operated and also carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. After they finished…

A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don’t be angry at your sister,” the mother says. “She doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling, and her brother says, “Now she…

A boy walks home an hour late to class, the teacher asks him, “Why are you so late?” The boy replies, “I stopped two boys from beating each other up.” The teacher says, “That’s very nice; how did you do that?” The boy says, “I beat them both up!”

A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty’s Kindergarten Class. NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Ivette – Banana Pie You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Russell – Turkey You cut the…

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, “Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?” She was…

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?” After a very…

Remember this story when they start getting frustrated: My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I…