children

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving…

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!” ——————– On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, “What did you do at school…

Why did the kid walk backwards to school? Because it was back to school day!

Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?” Billy: “No comb, Sir.” Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.” Billy: “No hair, Sir.”

“Teacher, I can’t do this problem!” “Any five year old can do that problem.” “Damn! No wonder I can’t do it! I’m almost ten!”

One day at class, Mrs. Stryo has a storytelling contest. She tells the class that the boy or girl with the best story will get a bag of candy. Jay, a clever boy, thinks of a story. “One day, there is a storm.” He begins. “Someone’s house gets ripped apart by this storm, leaving furniture…

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God…

Little Billy is at home and his mom is in the shower. Billy walks in on her and sees her breasts and says “Mommy what are those?” His mom replies, “Well, Billy, those are my headlights.” “Oh” says Billy. Then he looks down between her legs and sees hair there. “Mommy, what is that?” he…

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says, ”When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say ‘hell’ and you say ‘ass’.” The 4-year-old happily…

One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ”Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!” ”No. You had your chance.” A minute later the boy screamed ”Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?” ”No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I’ll come…

Jack was summoned by the Disciplinarian where his son, Tracey was enrolled. Tracey always throw stones at his playmates and he never missed. Jack replied to the Disciplinarian : Sir, please look at the bright side. My son will grow up to be a very effective baseball pitcher.

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, “…And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full…