children

Q.)Why do kids pick their nose? A.)BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO DARN LAZY TO GET A TISSUE AND THEIR FAVORITE SHOW IS ON. EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE SEEN IT 1 HUNDRED TIMES, CAN’T MISS A SECOND TO GET A TISSUE, WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR FINGER FOR FAST AND EASY ANSWER FOR THEIR BOGERY NOSE! Q.) How do…

Little Johnny kept spelling the word “went” wrong, instead he spelt “whent”. His teacher, who was very fusterated, decided to keep him after class to spell “went” 100 times. The next day she comes into the classroom, thinking he learned his lesson, and sees the whole board is full of the word “went”. But at…

Kevin attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Kevin asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that…

Little Johnny’s school was having show and tell, so the teacher started a ‘Guess What’s Behind My Back’ game. She went to her desk and picked something up. “Okay class,” she said, “guess what’s behind my back. It’s red, round, and shiny.” “I know, teacher! It’s an apple!” shouted Little Johnny! The teacher replied, “No…

Mom: “Why have you been sent home early, Jack?” Jack: “Because the boy next to me was smoking.” Mom: “But if he was smoking, why were you sent home?” Jack: “Because I set him on fire!”

Teacher – “Didn’t you promise to behave?” Johnny – “Yes, sir.” Teacher – “And didn’t I promise to punish you if you misbehaved?” Johnny – “Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.” Teacher – “How can one person make so many mistakes in one day?” Johnny – “I…

“I’m really too tired and unable to do my home work,” the son protested to his father. “Now my son, hard work has never killed any one yet, at least not at your age.” “Yes, but I don’t want to run the risk of being the first!”

Definitions For Parents ———————————————————– DUMB WAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: What you call…

A kindergarden teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog. She inquired as to whether it was dead or alive. “Dead,” she was informed. “How do you know?” she asked. “Because I pissed in his ear,” said the child innocently. “You did WHAT?” squealed the teacher in surprise. “You know,” explained the…

“There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it.” – Chinese Proverb. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes. The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,…

A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on “The Sea.” Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the comments that were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged…