college

A Harvard English 101 class was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The only “A+” in the class read: “My God,” said the Queen, “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course…

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do *anything* to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she repeats, “…I would do…*anything*.” He returns her gaze. “Anything?”…

Each simile listed below was actually used by high school students in their various essays and short stories: He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes…

1. All of you, stand in a straight circle. 2. I have two daughters, and both are girls! 3. Both the three of you get out of the class. 4. I saw you with my wife…..in the theatre. 5. Open the windows let the Airforce come in. 6. Boys go to the right, girls to…

Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years. After the refirmation were wars both foreign and infernal. If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout northern Europe which would include their posetions in Italy, Burgundy, central Europe and India…

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen. “Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer.” One student replied: “You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the…

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his…

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. “It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said. “Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.” The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?” “Yes, indeed,”…

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. “Justin,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?” Justin answered the correct airline. “Sandra, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?” Sandra…

The dean of a women’s college, addressing her charges, concluded, “…and remember, young ladies, you represent not only your own honor but that of the school. When approached by young men, ask yourself: Is an hour’s pleasure worth a lifetime of disgrace? Now, are there any questions?” A young lady immediately raised her hand and…

The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. “Well, we’re a mighty crowded, since there’s already someone in the spare room” replied the farmer. “But I guess you can stay if you don’t mind sharing the bed…