gross

I went to Google Translater to write something to my friend in German. I typed in English: Hey there! I am bored. What do you want to do? It came out in German: Hey dort! ich werde gebohrt, was Sie tun möchten? If I translate it back into English, it comes out: Hey there! I…

Chapstick is selling a new product in England. It is the regular Chapstick with Viagra added to the formula. Englishmen like it because it helps them keep a stiff upper lip.

The Goriest, Scariest, Yuckiest Top 12 Things You Really Don’t Want To See Written In Blood… 12) “Richard Hillman did it and——” 11) “Can you guess where your friends are?” 10) Your name signed on a Microsoft License Agreement 9) “Remember that kid you picked on during Junior Cert year…” 8) Your name on the…

A man is sitting at his register and a beautiful young women comes in asking to use the bathroom. Even though she is beautiful the man refuses to let her use it. At least until she buys something. So she buys a pack of gum and then asks again. He says, “yes.” She comes out…

This lonely little boy was sitting at home, and he recently discovered the noises and smells that can emit from his joke in the form of a fart. So the bored little boy decided to travel the world looking for the best fart, He went to Canada and realized that the cold temperature caused the…

A man stops to stay at hotel for the night, and when he goes to check in, the clerk tells him, “There is only one room left, and there are three holes in the wall. Whatever you do, don’t stick your dick into any of the holes.” When the man gets inside the room, his…

A lady one day decides to place an ad for a good relationship in bed. she said muct not have hands to beat her, must not have feet to walk on her and must be good in bed. one day, the doorbell rang and she answered it. a man with no legs, or hands is…

Gummer: Is defined as receiving oral sex from a woman who has no teeth.

Try this on a friend: Every time you say something, tell the other to say the same thing and add “bait” at the end. Example: fish –> fish bait fish (fish bait) dolphin (dolphin bait) seal (seal bait) I master (I masturbate!)

There lived a Chinese and an American in a hotel. One day, the Chinese felt thirsty, so he decided to get a drink of water. So he went to the public refrigerator, took a can of coke, and drank it. Then he wanted to go pee, so he peed in the can, closed the cap,…

A lady was at the bar when a guy started hitting on her. She said “I’ll send my pants to you from the dry cleaners, that way you can get into them on you own time.”

Q: What do you do when your nose goes on strike? A: Pick it.