gross

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, “Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of…

Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a very tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts he can’t stop looking at her thighs. To his delight he discovers that she is wearing no underwear. The blonde suddenly notices that he is looking and asks, “Are you looking at my p*ssy?” “Yes,…

make a hole.

What do starving Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off dead Beatles.

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings him his meal. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, exclaiming, “Waitress! There’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what’s…

A boy of 6 years old never pays attention to his pant’s zipper…which is always being left open. Because of this his mother often gets angry. One day some of his relatives plan to visit their city, so his mother advised him that whenever she tells him to “close the Eiffel Tower”, it means that…

When the river runs red Take the dirt road instead!

A drunk stumbles into a confessional. The priest on the other side hears someone enter but yet the man does not speak. So the priest knocks on the wall of the confessional and hears the drunk say, “Forget it buddy, theres no toiletpaper in this one either!”

There was a man who had problems with his penis getting hard. So he went to a doctor and said,”Doctor, can you please help me?” The doctor said,”Well we can put on replacement penis.” There was a wood one, a metal one, and a 20 foot penis. The man said,”Yes, that will really help.. I’ll…

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?” The bar went silent as the patrons tried to…

Why did Richard Nixon become President? Everyone called him Dick! They judged him by his name!

Two prostitutes moved to a new town, and on their first Sunday, went to church. One of the girls was quite proud of her singing; the other felt she couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, so was quiet. After one desultory hymn, the priest berated the congregation, “Quite clearly, there are some who are…