gross

Q What has two legs, and bleeds? A Half a dog!

33% of men use their left hand to pee. 67% of men use their right hand. 89% wanted to know why I’m watching them pee.

What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common. They both irritate bush!

Deep Salvage Pick Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages. Utensil Pick When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren’t enough to get the job done to your satisfaction. Extra Pick When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you…

So anyway, this leper goes into a bar. And this guy is in a really advanced state of decay, you know, like the werewolf’s friend in American Werewolf in London, towards the end of the movie… Anyhow, he goes into this bar, sits down at the bar and says to the bartender, “Look, before I…

*******before you read this I want you all to know this is a real letter written to an airline company by a passanger who rode in the plane*********** Dear Continental Airlines, I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of…

What’s brown and has holes in it? Swiss shit!

There were two guys at a bar. One of them was rich and the other was poor. They both start talking and they find out their anniversary is on the same day, which is tomorrow. Poor guy- “What did you get your wife?” Rich Guy- “I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz.”…

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can’t do it without toggle bolts. He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, “You wanna…

what did one gay say to the other when they broke up? ”YOU’RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE A*S”

An American, wearing Bermuda shorts, T-shirt, and a baseball cap, walks into a café, chewing on gum. He sits next to this French guy who is trying to enjoy his breakfast and is not in the mood for small talk. The American, aware of the Frenchman’s mood, tries to be smart. He sees the man…

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s…