gross

There once was a man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard on the moon; When you’d least expect ’em They’d burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon!!

Best Friend to Former Fat Guy: Hey man, you’re looking good. Looks like you lost lots of pounds. Any secrets? Former Fat Guy: Eating dates. Best Friend: Oh yeah? I’ve read that compared to other foods, dates have the highest anti-oxidant values. How much and how many times a week do you eat dates? Former…

One day a man was sitting on a toilet with his solar power laptop, then his laptop fell in the toilet. He ran out of the bathroom screaming. The next person sat down to use the toilet. When he was done, he stood up looked at the toilet and screamed out of the bathroom. All…

How many feet does a black rooster have? How many wings does a black rooster have? How many heads does a black rooster have? How many hairs are on the back of a white cat? Why is it that you know more about a black cock rather than a white pussy?

As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said,…

Two men were riding on a train. One of them had a bottle in his coat pocket, and the other one wanted it. Finally the train went through a dark tunnel and the man was able to take the bottle out and drink up all the “whisky” inside of it. Then he put it back…

What has 40 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.

What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s mind when he hits your windshield? His asshole!

At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest pockets. Upon being asked, one waiter said, “We see that the most frequently dropped silverware are spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement.” Then the customer noticed that a string was hanging out of all the…

Imagine that you are on an adventure in a jungle with your best friend. Your friend gets bitten (on his manhood) by a poisonous snake while he was peeing. There isn’t a hospital for hundreds of miles. The question is, will you SUCK the poison out or will you just watch him die?

Three roommates: a blonde, brunette, and redhead all go out on dates one night. When they get back in the blonde says, “You know you’ve been on a good date when your make-up is all smeared!” The brunette says, “No, no, you know you’ve been on a good date when you come home and your…

A guy’s car breaks down in the middle of town, and he looks for a hotel to stay in while he waits for his car to be fixed. He finds a very small hotel and walks in. He asks the man at the counter, “Do you have any rooms available?” The man at the counter…