gross

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ”May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. ”Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somejoke breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. ”Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 5. ”Damn, this…

How do you know when you’ve had enough sex? When you die from AIDS!

Did you fart….Because you are blowing me away!!! My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z. Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face.. Can i buy you a drink? Because you look like an alcoholic. Do you believe in…

What’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Back in the days of old, Before condoms were invented, Knights wrapped socks Around their cocks, And babies were prevented.

“Emily, I don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alan in accounting asked me out for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my gosh,” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off…

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60 year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing happens.” “Ah, that’s nothin,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on…

A man walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The guy behind the counter tells him that there is one room left but it is haunted. The man gets the room anyway. That night he hears in a soft voice “If the log rolls over we`ll all die!” He runs away. The next…

One day little Billy went screaming to his mom, “Mommy! Mommy! Theres a shrimp stuck between grandma’s legs!” His mother, intruiged by this, brought Billy to grandma, who was sleeping on the bed with her legs apart. The mother looked and laughed and said, “Why, that’s not a shrimp! That’s her privates, a vagina!” Billy…

How do you say constipated in German? farfrompoopin

The was a man named Jimmy who was on a job interview in another state that he didn’t know very well. While he was driving he became very tired. Noticing there were no hotels in sight, he pulled over in the driveway and knocked on the door. A old man in his 60s greeted him.…

Why did Michael Jackson cover his joke in cheese spread? Because kids will do anything for the taste of Dairylee.