gross

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn’t…

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber runs out and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay and the surgeon decides to leave the bullets where they are as it is too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years and then…

What’s gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What’s grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What’s grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what’s grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa’s…

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? WELL HUNG

There was a blind guy, walking down the street. He passes a fish market, smells the fish and says,” Good morning ladies.”

What is green and yellow and eats nuts? GONORRHEA

Billy turns up at school very late one morning, and the teacher asks the reason why he’s late. “Sorry, Miss, my dad got burned.” “I’m sorry to hear that; I hope it’s not serious,” she replies. “Oh, they don’t piss about at the crematorium, Miss!”

Why can’t Dolly Parton be a teacher? Because every time she turns around she erases the black board.

This American is on a business trip to Mexico and has the first day off. He decides he wants to ride a donkey, a traditional Mexican thing. He asks this local man if he can rent a donkey for the day. The man says, “Gringo we call them asses here in Mexico. If you want…

Former First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, “You’re lucky that you don’t have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his…

A man walked into a hotel and asked for a room. The guy behind the counter said there is only one room left but it is haunted. The man does not believe this so he gets the room. That night the man hears a voice saying “I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m…

A few people wanted to ride a train. They brought the tickets and got on. Then they realized that the train didn’t have bathrooms. One passenger had to go and he was not going to get off because the train could leave any moment. So he stuck his butt out the window and was in…