gross

It must suck being a penis because- 1. Your best friends are nuts 2. Your closest neighbour is an asshole 3. You vomit when you’re excited 4. Your owner abuses you And if you’re in the mood- 5. You work double-duty on Tuesday.

Verbs Anal Salute backfire bake breeze biscuits bake brownies bark bend a valve Beep your horn Blast the chair blow dirt blow dust blow a fart blow a gasket blow kisses blow mud blow smoke Blow the big brown horn blow the sparkplugs blurt boff Bottom blast Bottom burp boom-boom break the seam break wind…

What do women with no legs leave behind when they cross a linoleum floor? Snail Tracks.

Two gay guys are having sex. The penis says to the asshole “you think you have it bad, I’m up to my nuts in shit over here!”

One day, I went to the shooting gallery at the fair, one with the smiling clowns. I aimed and fired. Imagine my reaction when the target started yelling obscenities and charged. “WOW! These fairs are really getting high-tech,” I thought. Just to impress the girls watching, I held my ground and continued firing. Pretty soon,…

The day before Christmas break, a few kindergarten students decided to give their teacher a gift. The first gift was from a little girl whos daddy was a florist. The teacher takes the present unwraps it and discovers it’s flowers. She thanks the girl and takes the next present. Its from a little boy whose…

There once was this kid named Oddy, He always missed the Potty, He went some poops, and shouted out oops, Because Oddy Missed the Potty

Q What has two legs, and bleeds? A Half a dog!

33% of men use their left hand to pee. 67% of men use their right hand. 89% wanted to know why I’m watching them pee.

What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common. They both irritate bush!

Deep Salvage Pick Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages. Utensil Pick When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren’t enough to get the job done to your satisfaction. Extra Pick When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you…

So anyway, this leper goes into a bar. And this guy is in a really advanced state of decay, you know, like the werewolf’s friend in American Werewolf in London, towards the end of the movie… Anyhow, he goes into this bar, sits down at the bar and says to the bartender, “Look, before I…