menwomen

Why it’s better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in…

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder…

A couple who lived together were talking one day, trying to figure out how to entertain themselves on a rainy day. “Let’s play Hide and Seek,” said the woman. “I’ll hide and if you find me we’ll have sex!” “But what if I can’t find you?” asked her boyfriend. “I’ll be behind the piano,” she…

What are three two letter words for small? Is It In?

Once there was a guy who liked cheese.

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. “We’ll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci,” he said finally. “Sorry, sir,” said the waiter. “That’s the owner.”

There once was a man from Perdition Who knew his way around a kitchen His wife was good lookin’ The kids loved his cookin’ But his mother-in-law kept on bitchin’

Marg and Sam invited a couple over for a evening of bridge. “Sam,” Marg said, “this is the last couple that will ever accept an invitation to come to our house. If you dare to do anything to offend them tonight, I will crucify you!” After they played for a while, Marg went into the…

“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” protested his nephew. “I know,” replied the uncle.

An old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat, when his wife said, “Where are you going?” The elderly man replied, “To the doctor’s.” Surprised, his wife asked “Why, are you sick?” “No,” he said, “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” With that, his equally…

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get…