menwomen

Friendships between women: A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. Friendships between men: A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told…

Husband walks into his house with a chicken under his arm and says “Honey I want you to meet the pig I’ve been fucking.” Wife looks at him and says “dear, that’s a chicken not a pig!” Husband says “Shut up bitch I wasn’t talking to you!”

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom, on the edge of the bathtub, saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet, and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s…

Don’t you have some laundry to do or something? Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off. You’re just upset because your butt is beginning to spread. Wait a minute – I get it. What time of the month is it? Shouldn’t you consult the great Oprah on this one? Sorry. I…

Nojoke will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Why it’s better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in…

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder…

A couple who lived together were talking one day, trying to figure out how to entertain themselves on a rainy day. “Let’s play Hide and Seek,” said the woman. “I’ll hide and if you find me we’ll have sex!” “But what if I can’t find you?” asked her boyfriend. “I’ll be behind the piano,” she…

What are three two letter words for small? Is It In?

Once there was a guy who liked cheese.

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. “We’ll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci,” he said finally. “Sorry, sir,” said the waiter. “That’s the owner.”