menwomen

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any pain killers because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly…

1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 3.Let me smell that shirt-don’t worry, its good for another week. 4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed him and walk him every day. 5.That outfit isn’t sexy…

Joe: I got a problem. Ed: What’s the matter? Joe: Women. I just don’t understand them. Ed: Do you understand your TV? Joe: No. Ed: So what’s the problem?

A guy is sitting in a bar with his friends bitching about going home to his wife. His friends ask him why he doesn’t want to go home to such a fine looking woman and he replies… “Well, the problem is that she has Gonnorrhea” So what say the friends, flip her over. “Well, she…

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. The hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., drunk to the gills, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the…

A young priest has just left the seminary and been sent to his first parish to work alongside an old experienced priest Father Brown. When he arrives the old priest welcomes him with open arms, explaining that he has been working alone and hasn’t had a day off in years. He asks the new priest…

A man was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies, basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer, he realized that they were all stark naked. He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director…

Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy’s mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound. “You just wouldn’t believe what they have there in New York City,” says…

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was…

9. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. 8. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 7. Crying can be fun. 6. Fat clothes. 5. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 4. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak…

You Know You’re A Mom When… * Your feet stick to the kitchen floor….. and you don’t care. * When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding. * You can’t find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call…

A bunch of men are in a locker room at the gym, just out from the steam room. One man’s phone rings, he answers it. The conversation between him and his girlfriend is as follows: “Hey honey!” “hey…” “I love ya!” “When are you gonna be home to feed us?” “Fuck ya’all! I hate you!…