menwomen

A man was walking along the beach when he saw bottle. Curious, he picked it up and was wiping the sand off it when out came a genie. “I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. The man couldn’t believe it. “First, I want ten million dollars in a Swiss bank account.” Poof! The…

(I’m ringing up a customer and notice her last name is the same as mine. I have a very uncommon last name, so I made the mistake of mentioning this…) Me: “Your last name is [name]? Mine, too. Wonder if we’re related?” *chuckle* Customer: *very serious* “What is your name?” Me: “Oh, I was joking,…

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”…

What do you call a woman with no asshole? Divorced.

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with…

(This joke was copied from the “Fresh Price of Bel Air” show and are not my original jokes). 40 is the begining…. the begining of the end. 40 is the begining of life. Did I say life?… i meant gum disease!

Can a mane date the sister of his widow? No, because you can’t date when you are dead.

A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges, when she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “What time…

“You’re in incredible shape,” the doctor said. “How old are you again?” “I am 78,” said the man. “78!” remarked the doctor. “How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old.” “Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the…

One man solved his problem of too many visiting relatives by borrowing money from the rich ones and loaning it to the poor ones.

How do you know if a 500-pound man is a millionaire? (That’s 500-pound fat, not muscle.) Because he will have a totally hot, blonde, babe on his arm.

1…Silence, the final frontier – Where no woman has gone before. 2…The undiscovered side of Banking – How to make deposits. 3…Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome – You don’t need new shoes everyday. 4…Learn how not to inflict your diets on other people. 5…Nag Nag Nag – how to overcome your tendency to be a…