menwomen

One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under…

After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him — and got a woman. “Is Mike there?” I asked. “He’s in the shower,” she responded. “Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up. When he didn’t return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. “This…

A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. “Put these on,” he said to his wife. She did and they were obviously much too large. “There’s no way I can wear these – they’re way too big,” she said. “Good! Now you know who wears…

A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other’s behavior. When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the…

Haircuts – The difference between men and women. Women’s version: Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute! Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman2: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair…

An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the…

A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a…

The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, “Sol, I’m happy…

The perfect man and the perfect woman got married, had a perfect honeymoon, and got a perfect car. One day, they were driving along and Santa Claus was on the side of the road. His sleigh had broken down, and he needed a ride to the next town. The perfect couple were nice, and let…

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. – Henny Youngman

She frowned and called him Mr. Because in sport he kr. And so in spite That very night The Mr. kr. sr.

Bob, an extremely wealthy 60-year-old, arrives at a country club with a beautiful and charming 25-year-old blonde. His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob exclaims, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” His friends are shocked, but continue to ask, “So, how’d you persuade…