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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a monkey? George W. Bush

Soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “Clinton Soup,” that will honor one of the nation’s most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin…

President Clinton had heard of all the starving people in Somalia, and wanted to get a look for himself. He ordered his aides to prepare Air Force One. On the plane, the president looked down with his binoculars, and said “My God! Look at them! Skinny, starving – where are our troops?” An aide chimed…

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you’re from California if: 1. Your coworker has 8 joke piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $400,000 and still can’t afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on…

Seen on a bumper sticker: “IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION.” Seen on another bumper sticker: “CLINTON HAPPENS.”

Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional…

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with…

“The news of bin Laden’s death interrupted this week’s episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?” —Conan O’Brien “The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.” —David Letterman “Osama bin Laden’s death has been in the news all day.…

One day, about a month ago, the president was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge – a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said, “I am the President of the United States… How much would it cost me to spend some time with…

One way to take care of the world’s population. The IRS has reported the “disappearance” of more than 8 million American children during the late 1980s, “caused” by tax reform legislation. That number is the total of all children claimed as dependents of beneficiaries of child care tax credits before 1987 but who were never…

A group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into an accident with busload of nuns and orphans, killing everyone. The Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil is shocked to see that they are not in agony over…

Colorado • Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. • Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars…