news
-
Socialist Economy
in JokesThe principle of socialist economy of the period of transition to communism: the authorities pretend they are paying wages, workers pretend they are working. Alternately, “So long as the bosses pretend to pay us, we will pretend to work.” This joke persisted essentially unchanged through the 1980s.
-
Socialism
in JokesTwo Berlin children spoke to each other over the wall. The little girl in the West says, while eating a banana, “Look – I have a banana.” The boy in the East doesn’t want to be inferior to her in anything and says, full of pride: “We have socialism.” The girl counters: “So, we’ll have…
-
1980 Olympics
in JokesAt the 1980 Olympics, Brezhnev begins his speech. “O!” – applause. “O!” – more applause. “O!” – yet more applause. “O!” – an ovation. “O!!!” – the whole audience stands up and applauds. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, “Leonid Ilyich, that’s the Olympic rings, you don’t need to read it!”
-
To Catch a Thief
in JokesFour teenagers were arrested in the parking lot of a large mall in Lakeland, Fla. just before Christmas. In an attempt to steal an automobile at random, they tried to break into a police van containing three officers on a stakeout.
-
KGB in Communism
in JokesWill there be KGB in communism? As you know, in communism, the state will be abolished, together with its means of suppression. People will know how to arrest themselves.
-
Berlin Wall
in JokesHow can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
-
Comrade Lev
in JokesQ: Comrade Lev, why now, just when things are getting better for your people, are you applying for an exit visa to make aliyah to Israel? A: Well, comrade, there are two reasons. One is that my next-door neighbor is Pamyat and he tells me that after they get rid of you communists, they are…
-
When Pigs Fly
in JokesIt was often said that if an African American was ever voted in to be the President of the United States, that would be the the day that pigs fly. 100 days after President barack Obama is in office, swine flu.
-
Vote For ME!
in JokesWhat happens when a president gets elected in a year with a “0” at the end? 1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office) 1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated) 1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated) 1900: William McKinley (Assassinated) 1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office) 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office) 1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated)…
-
The Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Wants to be President:
in Jokes10. She wants her own intern. 9. She wants to complete her china and silver collection. 8. Brother-in-law Roger needs another pardon. 7. She wants to lease the Lincoln Bedroom to Marc Rich. 6. She wants to rename Camp David to Camp Denise. 5. She wants to pick up the rest of the furniture. 4.…
-
Leipzig Trade Fair
in JokesDuring a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair, a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there is a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivers more quickly than that, it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection. Sight unseen,…
-
Country Politics
in JokesA busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw…