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  • The Fortune Teller

    During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die…

  • Anti War Slogans

    Actual Anti-War Slogans for the War on Iraq These colors don’t run the world. One nation under surveillance. It’s the oil, stupid. War is expensive, Peace is priceless. Read between the Pipelines No More BuSh. Smart weapons, Dumb president. The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself. How many Lives per Gallon? Patriots…

  • Banana Machines

    In the GDR, at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are “banana machines”. You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

  • Comrade Stalin

    “Comrade Stalin! This man is your exact double!” / “Shoot him!” / “Maybe we should shave off his moustache?” / “Good idea! Shave it off and then shoot him!”. (In another version, Stalin replies shortly Ili tak [lit. or so], meaning “this way is ok too”, which has become somewhat proverbial).

  • What is Politics?

    A little boy goes to his father one day and says, “Daddy, what is politics?” “Well,” his father replied, “let me try to explain it to you this way. Let’s say that you’re the people. I’m the breadwinner of the family so we’ll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we’ll call…

  • Party Congress

    Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) “First row! On your feet! Shoot them!” (Applause.) “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) “Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!” (Long, loud applause.) “Who sneezed?” (Silence.) …A dejected voice in the back: “It was me” (Sobs.) Stalin leans forward: “Bless you, comrade!”

  • BATTERY RECHARGE? I THINK NOT.

    Hw does Battery reproduce? Bi pluging it into Boodler’s Giant ass!

  • Dumb Laws

    Here is a list of some really stupid laws I’ve seen: Alaska- You can’t wake up a sleeping bear, just to take its picture. Florida-Unmarried women may not parachute on Sundays. Idaho- You can’t fish from the back of a camel. (Who has a pet camel in Idaho anyway?!?) Oklahoma-Whaling is illegal. (hint-there aren’t any…

  • Cra-Z Laws X-treme!

    Due to high demmand, I will not maker you wait for all 50 states to come out, instead, here is ALL OF THE 51 states of laws. Alabama • A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or “in a substantially nude state” except a babe in arms. • Anniston:…

  • NOTICE:

    The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capitol. There was, however, no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

  • Clintons Testimony By Dr Seuss

    I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did…

  • You’re Know You’re From Alaska If . .2

    1. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches. 2. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number. 3. If you know how to say Matanuska, Tokositna, Kichatna, Oshetna, Bodenburg and Muktuk. 4. If you think that ketchup is one of the seven main food…