oneliners

– The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. – Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. – Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. – All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. – Young scholars have…

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Ever since Rhianna got dumped by her boyfriend, she put all the stuff that was his or made her remember him she put : ” to the left to the left… in the box on the left…”

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Why doesn’t the glue inside the bottle dry?

JCPenny blowdryer: do not use while sleeping ********** caution: hot chocolate may be hot **********

Her name was Virginia. They called her Virgin for short, but not for long!

Girl, “Oh, Superman I love you so much!” Superman,”I don’t blame you.”

Question: How long is a minute? Answer: That depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on!!

What is a pirate’s favourite branch of the military? The Arrrmy… no, the Navy, he’s a pirate!

If at first you don’t suceed…lower your standards!