oneliners

Save a tree, eat a beaver!!

“Honk if you hate noise pollution!”

Hey! I recognize you! You’re the third one over on the evolutionary scale!

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 – Don’t tell people everything you know.

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

The best way to end a war is to surrender.

I’m such an insomniac, the sheep fall asleep before I do.

Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money.

Good morning is a contradiction in terms.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Anyjoke can win. Unless, of course, there happens to be a second entry.