What’s an innunedo? An Italian hemorrhoid prepareation.
What do you call a good looking girl on the campus of Clemson University? A visitor.
Iraq, a good place to take a shiite.
New rules for poker in Los Angeles — four clubs beat a king.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes oneliners? So men can understand them.
What’s the difference between Gov’t bonds and men? Gov’t bond eventually mature.
What did God say after he created man? “I can do better than this . . .”
What’s the best thing to come out of a peter? The wrinkles.
What’s the difference between ‘light’ and ‘hard’? You can sleep with the light on.
What’s the difference between ‘dark’ and ‘hard’? It stays dark all night.
What does a man consider to be a 7-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack.
What’s the difference between Saddam Hussein and a bucket of shit? The bucket.
What do Nagasaki, Hiroshima and Baghdad have in common. Nothing, yet.
What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffit have in common? They both have curds in their whey.
What do you call an Iraqi with a goat under one arm and a sheep under the other? A bisexual.
What’s the difference between Hussein and your ex-wife’s lawyer? Hussein’s demands are reasonable.
Pres. Bush is replacing all the male troops in Iraq with women diagnosed with PMS — they’re a hell-of-a-lot meaner and they retain water.
Why don’t men’s balls hang down to their knees? The vacuum in their brain keeps ’em up.
What does a female lawyer use for birth control? Her personality.
How can you reunite the Beatles? Use two more bullets.
I’ve never been drunk — just over served.
I was as pure as the driven snow until I drifted.
What’s the difference between oral sex and sushi? The rice.
What’s black, 12″ long and hangs in front of an asshole? A stethoscope.
Man standing next to a woman in a bar. He looks at her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” “Absolutely not,” says the woman. “Must be your feet.”
Why are the Rams changing their name to the Tampons? They’re only good for one period and they have no second string.