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The confused protagonist suddenly finding himself in the presence of the genie, who informs him that he has one wish left; he has just used the second wish to completely undo the effect of the first, including his own memory of making it. Undaunted, the protagonist makes his third wish, only to have the genie…

When I saw that item, I said to my wife, “I don’t think spaghetti grows on trees”, so we’d looked it up in Encyclopædia Britannica. Do you know, Miall, Encyclopædia Britannica doesn’t even mention spaghetti.

With iPhone, dialing contacts is a snap. Let’s say you wanted to contact your ex-girlfriend to let her know how badly she’s hurt you. Simply press her name, and the call is dialed. “Dammit, Rick, stop calling me!” Then, when another call comes in, simply place that call on hold and answer the second one.…

Q.What is the speed limit for sex? A. 68, at 69 you have to turn around!

A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when an attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!” Her face was beaming. He gave her that “Who-are-you?” look and couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.…

What’s invisible and very frightened? A ghost with the sheet scared out of him.

A few interesting public/police interactions: GOOD: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting too many. Then, he discovered the problem. A 10-year old boy was standing up the road from him with a hand-painted sign which read, “RADAR TRAP AHEAD”. The officer then found a younger accomplice down the…

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is…

This is not supposed to be funny. I want to make a public apology for the temper tantrum I threw earlier today. I still don’t get it but I am sorry for blaming everyone else for my problems. AC3P1L07 P.S. please vote this as funny so more people will see it.

One day, Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter greeted her. “Hello, and welcome. You have lived a life full of prosperity and love. You have given millions around the world entertainment with your acting. Now I will provide you with one wish for the Earth before you enter Heaven. What…

This form is designed for excuse you’ll need for the trouble you’ve caused.. Whenever there’s a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. Dear: a) Mom b) Dad c) Love of my life d) Teacher e) Local Police Chief Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am…

Famous Last Words “We’ll be safe here, trust me.” “Who cares about the severe weather warning, those forecasters are always wrong anyway.” “We’re not as high up as it looks, here I’ll show you.” “Who cares about those heart condition warnings anyway, I wanna ride this thing!” “My friend did this a while ago. I…