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“Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments.” – David Letterman

Beijing = Capital of China.

Share Critical Information Pertaining to Credit and Risk A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and…

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marajiuana, Jack got high and unzipped his fly and Jill said I don’t wanna.

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 5. Do I look like a freakin’ people person? 6. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 7.…

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop…

Why don’t blind people sky dive? Because it scares the crap outta the dog.

Q. What do you call Asians swimming in a pool? A. Cornflakes

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers: * Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”. * Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She’s used the program herself and has been growing like crazy! * Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition…

Here’s to all the Secret Santas! Enjoy! It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn’t. Santa was really upset. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies, the elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in, making…

A man goes into a shoe store and asks to try on a pair of shoes. They were a bit snug. “Well, they feel a bit tight,” says the man. The salesman bends down and feels around. He suggests pulling the tongue out, then asks, “How do they feel now?” “Well, dey shtill feel a…

The forgien exchanged students Jose, Doron, and Krono didn’t know any English. So their teacher asked them to go find some words. Jose goes to the airport and sees a plane. “Waz dat?” he asks. “That’s a plane taking off,” the pilot said. “Take off!” he says. Doron goes to the zoo and sees a…