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(Told You So)

What has four legs and ticks? A walking clock!

There once was an X from place B, That satisfied predicate P, He or she did thing A, In an adjective way, Resulting in circumstance C.

This will make your computer A LOT faster, and it is REALLY EZPZ! The thing is, most ppl lack the knowlege to use it. 1.Go to the START menu 2. Click My Computer 3. Right click (C:) 4.Click Format 5. Click Yes 6. Repeat on (D:), then (E:), then (A:) 7. TA DA! FTR, if…

This Chinese man asks this guy what he does for a living. The guy says, ‘I’m a comedian.’ The Chinese guy says ‘No, u no camedien!’ The guy says, ‘Yer, I am, honest.’ The Chinese guy says, ‘No, you’re not, ploove it, change coror!’ (He says it like chameleon)

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman stranded on an island. They see a cave up ahead. The Englishman goes in and sees some toast on a rock. He goes over to it but then a voice comes. “Dont eat the toast,” the voice shouts. The Englishman runs out. The Scotsman walks in…

Once there was a girl at a restaurant and ordered anything in a saucer. The waiter was walking to her table when the girl tripped him. The waiter said “Why did you trip me?” And the girl, without the least of the waiter’s worries simply said “I wanted to see a flying saucer!”

To support his wife and 11 children, Charles Stephens, 58-year-old “Demon barber of Bristol,” needed more money than he could make giving shaves and haircuts. Even his sideline as a daredevil, performing high dives and parachute jumps in England, barely helped cover the bills. He needed something big, something to make his reputation. There was…

Q: How do you keep a cheepskate busy? A: Put him or her in a round room and tell them that you droped a $20 bill in the corner.

General Ways to Annoy People Announce when you’re going to the bathroom. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. “I’m Bob, nice to meet you…” “PROVE IT!”) ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Pilot: “Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct!” Tower: “Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, ‘Our Father, who art in heaven…’”

If you think about it, a muffin is just a bald cupcake!