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Submit a joke = I’m a but jokes That’s so stupid = Sadist puts hot ……………………………. Bonus jokes with my fur = Joy! Swift knob humerus let’s hear a joke = Jerk tease halo (If you guys want that I anagram a sentence you like then post it on the comment box. But only from…

I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said “Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the…

News Flash : Today the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going and going, “Pinkie” as he was known to his…

FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD! ————————————— Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an ‘E’ for Effort. We hope you enjoy them. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to…

If you’re fat. can you still disapear into thin air? If you’re fat, can you still have slim chances of doing something?

Cards That You Won’t Find At Hallmark – “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?” “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to…

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in…

Here are more funny thoughts from www.crazythoughts.com. Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you’re standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn’t you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions,…

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?” “It was terrible,”…

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. – Robert Benchley Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. – James Baldwin Life is hard. After all, it kills you. – Katherine Hepburn If drumsticks are for playing…

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyjoke discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” – Douglas Adams. “I’m astounded by people who…

ALWAYS must WIN. BORROW but never RETURN. CHEAP is GOOD. DON’T TRUST anyone. EVERYTHING also must GRAB. FREE! FREE! FREE!!! GRAB first TALK later. HELP yourself to EVERYTHING. i FIRST, i WANT, i EVERTHING. JUMP queue. KEEP coming back for MORE. LOOK for DISCOUNTS. MUST not lose FACE. NEVER mind what they THINK. OUTDO everyone…