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Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. “Hallo! Mr. Hussein,” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!” “Well, Paddy,” Saddam replied, “this is indeed important news!…

How to Make Cookies: 1. Make the batter with everything but the vanilla. 2. Walk to your nearest appliance shop. 3. Buy a telephone and walk home. 4. Call a friend. 5. Have her drive you to the airport. 6. Buy a plane ticket to St. Louis MO, USA (home is where the heart is).…

“I’d like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator. “There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?” The young man hesitated a moment, “Well, uh, most people call me Snake.”

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and >>take >>them to their separate hotel >>rooms. >> >>The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His >>depression >>is made worse by the fact that, >>from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries >>of >>”Here I…

The first TV network kids show in the U.S. was “Captain Kangaroo.” Before 1687 clocks were made with only an hour hand. There are towns named Sandwich in Illinois and Massachusetts. Caterpillars have over 2,000 muscles.

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman were discussing a good example of savoir-faire. “Ok,” said the Englishman, “if you came home and found your wife in bed with another man and you didn’t kill him, that to me, is savoir-faire.” “Not quite, fellas,” said the American. “If you came home and found your wife…

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his…

I Found this on another website, it is soooo true =D You call your dog Shinji and your cat Neko. You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling “Spirit Bomb!” Your house has an anime room. You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy. You…

Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Hughie?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Wee Hughie sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to…

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s will be okay too. 8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I…

1. Order a cheese burger with no cheese. 2. Ask if they would like to buy some soap. 3. Sing “I think your tractor’s sexy” 4. If you’re in a drive-through, say, “Man, I think you’re ugly.” 5. Keep changing your order for over an hour. 6. When you pull up to the window, try…

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school. (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of…