others
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Random Things 1
in JokesThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and… If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take…
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Black Box
in Jokes3 ladies were on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed them that there was a technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea. A Chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up. A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The Chinese lady…
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Full of Whisky
in JokesA Scottish highlander is asked what his three wishes would be. He first wishes for a lake full of whisky. His second wish is for a similar quantity of good food. When asked for his third wish, after a moment of indecision, he asks for a second lake full of whisky.[2]
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Repeat Offender
in JokesA judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. “Haven’t I seen you in here many times already? And didn’t I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?” “Yes, Your Honor,” the defendant replied. “That’s exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in anyway!”
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Marriages Made In . . . .?
in JokesIf Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she’d be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long. If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she’d be Whoopi Cushing. If Swoosie Kurtz married…
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Popular Prices
in JokesA new jewelry store was opening for the first time. On the front of the store, there was a sign that said “Popular Prices”. A man looked at the sign and walked right in. He asked the employee at the desk, “How much for that pearl necklace?” “14,000 dollars.” “What? How are those popular prices?”…
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Top 10 Things Not To Say On Your Anniversary
in Jokes10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I…
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Funny Questions
in JokesIf you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced…
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Daughter’s Birthday
in JokesRalph was one his way home from work on night, when to his horror, he suddenly realized that he’d completely forgotten his daughter’s birthday. He rushed to the toy store and asked the manager, “How much is the barbie in the window?” “Which one?” The manager replied. “We have Workout barbie for $19.95, Malibu barbie…