others

There was a man, let’s call him Gregory. Gregory was carrying a small box, and he went to another man’s house (we’ll call him Jebediah) and knocked on the door. When Jebediah answered, Gregory said “I have a proposition for you. Take this box. There is a button inside. If you press the button before…

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“Of course I know what I’m doing!” “Trust me.” “Say, what happens if I press this?” “Stop being so negative!” “I’m perfectly fine. Really.” “Do you smell something burning?” “It’s not that poisonous. Look, if I eat some first will you try it?” “See? Told you I wasn’t afraid of heights!” “You know, bears are…

Don’t worry, you aren’t fat. You’re only “fluffy”!

Mr. Turtle was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, “Good Morning, Mr. Crow.” Mr. Crow shouted back down, “Good Morning Mr. Turtle.” Mr. Turtle shouted up, “Whatcha doin’ today?” and the answer shouted back down was, “Absolutely nothin’ Mr. Turtle –…

An old Native American wanted a loan of $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, “What are you going to do with the money?” “Take jewelry to city and sell it,” said the old man. “What have you got for collateral?” queried the banker, going strictly by the…

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw…

An agriculture student said to a farmer: “Your methods are too old-fashioned. I wouldn’t be surprised if this tree gave you less than twenty pounds of apples.” “Wouldn’t surprise me, either,” said the farmer, “this is an orange tree.”

There’s a lovely young woman in New Zealand who is getting her house redecorated. She is walking around the house with the builder, telling him what colors she is thinking of painting the walls. They go firstly into the dining room, and she says that she’d like it painted a nice lilac color. The builder…

Farmer John was taking his cow and it’s newborn calf to sell in the auction. On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves, who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and tied him to a tree. Then taking the mother cow and John’s clothes, the thieves escaped. They, however, left the newborn…

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the…

The first typewriter was called the “literary piano.” Frogs can’t swallow with their eyes open. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. August has the highest percentage of births.