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I AM NOT A RACIST PERSON, I JUST FIND THIS FUNNY. There was once a rich pakistani. His name was Azif. (As if)

How do you get pikachu on a bus? You pokemon.

It’s okay to kiss a fool, and it’s also okay to let a fool kiss you. But NEVER let a kiss fool you!

In a 4 story building there lived 4 people: On the 1st floor lived a cop On the 2nd floor lived a thief On the 3rd floor lived a blind man On the 4th floor lived a very clean woman that took alot of showers. One day the woman on the 4th floor got into…

Why didn’t the brakes want to work? Because it was time for their lunch break.

Back in the olden days when Samurai were important, there was a powerful Japanese Emperor who needed a new Chief Samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world of that time that he was searching for a CHIEF. A year passed, but only 3 people applied for the very demanding position;…

An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve not taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor, “but yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because it wasn’t peeling well

Have you ever noticed people who cough/sneeze/do just about anything they can to spread their germs to everyone and everywhere? Well basically their theory is make germs like forwards. Try to get them around the world in 40 days or less. Lets try to get rid of these people rather then the avian virus before…

Superman was bored one day; he goes to see Batman, and he asks, “Do you want to go save the world?” “Sorry” Batman said. “Spring cleaning at the Batcave,” so Superman goes to see the Green Lantern. “You wanna save the world?” he asks. “Can’t, ring has been acting up,” Lantern said. Then, flying around…

A Jewish girl tells her Catholic college roommate that she’s going home for Roshashanna. “Oh,” the Catholic girl says. “That’s the holiday when you light the eight candles, right?” “No,” the Jewish girl replies. “That’s Hannukah.” “Oh, right,” the Catholic girl says. “Roshashanna is the holiday when you eat the unlevened bread?” “No,” the Jewish…

151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. 152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21. 153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. 154. All polar bears are left-handed. 155. The catfish has over 27000…