others

Q: How do you get free tickets to a concert fast? A: Bring a gun to the box-office.

162 = worst score in golf.

What does the hot dog say after winning a race? I’m a WIENER!!!

Q: What’s a cannibal? A: ǝןdoǝd ɥʇıʍ dn pǝɟ s,oɥʍ uosɹǝd ɐ

Dear Abby: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?…

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME…

Ghetto Test If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score. Scoring is given at the bottom of the test. 1. You’ve ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points) 2. You’ve ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points) 3.…

A Hole in the Bucket by Lee King Long Walk by Miss. D. Bus The Playground by C. Saw Fitting Carpets by Walter Wall Around the World by Sir Cumfrence Flexibility by Ben Dover Bladder Controld by Idon P. Freely

I’ve been following the ongoing Evolution vs Intelligent Design controversy, and as a card-carrying botanist, I’m a very strong supporter of Darwin. But still, there are things in life that rational science simply cannot explain. Like Paris Hilton…

1. The reason why our bras don’t always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear. 2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim. 3. If we’re watching football with you–it’s not bonding–it’s…

A stockbroker is beginning his jail sentence for fraud, and meets his cell-mate for next seven years. He stares in shock at the weirdo next to him, when the psycopath says, “Don’t worry, I’m in here for a white-collar crime as well.” The stockbroker is very relieved, and asks what crime the man had committed.…

Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter says, “You look like Albert Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths people will go to in order to sneak into heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk, please?” St.…